A real estate man in China learned the hard way it's hard to find a good hit man, Shanghaiist reports. A court heard that Tan Youhui, owner of a real estate company in the Guangxi region, planned to murder one of his rivals—Wei, who was taking Tan's business to court. So Tan hired a man named Xi Guangan in 2013 for roughly $282,000 and gave him a copy of Wei's ID and other personal information. Xi then turned around and gave half the money to an individual named Mo Tianxiang to fulfill the job. Xi then returned to Tan and requested about $140,000 more to finish it, which Tan agreed to as long as the job was done.
Meanwhile, Mo hired someone else to kill Wei for a paltry $38,000 along with promises of more upon success. That person hired someone to do it for less, who hired someone for even less—a mere $14,000. That someone, Ling Xiansi, scoffed at the fee and urged Wei to fake his own death instead. Wei wisely chose to tell the authorities "since he could die, otherwise," says Mothership. Ultimately all schemers in the drama were arrested, charged, and slapped with sentences ranging from three years and six months to two years and seven months. "It really just goes to show you, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself," says Shanghaiist. (Read more assassination stories.)