My 401(k) Proves I Could Do Better Than CNBC

He may have gotten only a B in economics, but James Rainey, in the Los Angeles Times, says he can be the next CNBC personality. “There’s got to be a spot for me on one of those chatter fests,” he says, because “I’ve out-performed the Dow by more than 100%!” His secret: He sold his stocks and put the proceeds into money markets and bonds.

Maybe Jim Cramer, Larry Kudlow, and company should be as up-front about their results. Show a graph of their portfolios next to the market. If they fall behind, “we vote them right off the CNBC island,” making room for “my timeless, slightly cowardly style of money management.” It’d be worth it just to see Kudlow—who declared the subprime mess finished a year ago—looking for work. (More CNBC stories.)