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Bullying Isn't a Crime

Elie Mystal: Parents running to the courts set a horrible example for kids

By John Johnson,  Newser Staff

Posted Oct 12, 2010 4:27 PM CDT

(Newser) – Elie Mystal wants you to know that he frequently got the snot beat him out of him as a kid. Which gives him the authority in a Nixon-goes-to-China kind of way to declare that the country is seriously overreacting to bullies. "You see, American children apparently have become so fragile, and Americans parents so litigious, that schoolyard bullying is as likely to be settled in a court of law as it is behind a dumpster out back where boys used to handle their disagreements," he writes at the Above the Law blog.

Bullying is awful, but it's also "unavoidable when more than one male competes for whatever status/prestige/sex is on offer." It's always been this way and always will. The cases of Tyler Clementi and others are tragic, but "how far are we willing to take this thing?" he asks." I don’t like slippery slope arguments, but people get bullied in one form or another every day. We can’t charge all of them, so why should we charge just the ones who happen to have a victim who takes the extraordinary step of ending his or her own life?" Parents must teach their kids how to handle it, not how to run to a lawyer.

Parents who run to the courts to stop bullies are doing their kids no favors.
Parents who run to the courts to stop bullies are doing their kids no favors.   (Shutterstock)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 62 comments
aprilalison23
Oct 14, 2010 12:52 PM CDT
Whether it's a crime or not is a matter of perspective and I can see both sides. What concerns me is that kids nowadays see suicide as a more attractive offer than fighting for their rights. We've tempered our kids with "everyone gets a trophy, regardless of who wins" for the sake of not hurting their feelings, but when we end up with kids who can't handle conflict, loss or discouragement we're bewildered as to why and quick to point the finger away from our own parenting skills.
Doc Adams
Oct 13, 2010 9:56 PM CDT
I hate to give you the extra pageview on posting this, but back in your day bullying ended at the front door, and a violent confrontation meant a totally different thing. Bullying today is far more sophisticated, harsh, dangerous, and it follows kids into their homes via the internet.. Remember when your friends posted embarassing videos of you online? oh wait you don't because the most advanced technology available in your youth was probably a solar powered calculator.
Dro_Trebor
Oct 13, 2010 10:34 AM CDT
Telling your kid to fight a bully is stupid. If the bullying is happening at school, the right thing to do is to confront the situation head on, with the school and the bully's parents. If that doesn't work, and the school washes their hands, then they should be sued. Period. The answer to bullying isn't standup and get the crap kicked out of you. That advice is just plain awful. It perpetuates might-makes-right, gets your kid injured, and has exactly no redeeming value whatsoever unless you want your kid to think that fighting is the way to solve arguments. Yes, stand up to bullies, by not letting them bully. Period. They do it repeatedly, they should be kicked out. Of school, of sports, of everything. Then maybe their parents and they will decide that bullying has too high a cost and they can figure out a different way to interact with their peers.

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