Today's dumb criminals lesson: If you're going to take a cab ride while loaded down with almost half a million in drugs, stay conscious. A 25-year-old Chicago man found himself in hot water after flagging down a cab on Christmas, chatting on his phone for a while, then passing out. The driver spent 10 minutes trying to rouse Joseph Hoffman, then gave up and deposited him at a police station—where cops searched his bag. Inside, they found bottles containing a "clear, crystalline substance" wired to a "power source," which a police report described as a mini meth lab.
The report placed the drug's value at nearly $450,000, reports the Chicago Tribune. Police found even more goodies in Hoffman's home: a gallon jug they suspect is filled with the date rape drug, small bags of pot, and $1,401 in cash. Bad news for Hoffman, who was charged with six felony counts, and for the driver. "They said they found a lot of bad stuff. My only concern was to collect my fare," said the cabbie. "It was going on and on, and I didn't even get my full fare."