Colbert Shines Light on Vodka Tampon Trend
And by 'shines light on' we mean 'mocks mercilessly'
By Kevin Spak, Newser User
Posted Nov 15, 2011 8:36 AM CST
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(Newser) – Parents, do you know what your teenagers are doing with their vodka? How about their feminine hygiene products? Because odds are they’re soaking the latter in the former and sticking them in their you-know-wheres, high school security cop Chris Thomas tells KPHO 5 in Phoenix, saying the phenomenon is “everywhere.” A very concerned Stephen Colbert brought this growing menace to our attention on last night's Colbert Report. “A high school security cop heard about it, that means it’s true!” he declared.

It’s not just girls either! “Guys will also use it and they’ll insert it into their rectums,” Thomas warns—or as Colbert quips, they’re “literally getting drunk off their asses.” And remember, this is everywhere, so “if you are with a teenage boy right now, chances are they have a vodka-soaked tampon in their butt!” Colbert warned his teenage viewers not to give in to the trend, adding, “And for God’s sake, if you soak your tampons in tequila, don’t salt the rim.” This isn’t the first time the vodka-tampon myth, er, menace, has surfaced on Arizona TV, either—or the first time it’s attracted skepticism.

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Nov 15, 2011 7:58 PM CST
This guy works so hard to perform at the John Stewart level and his bombs. He is not funny and his story is stupid. this running around from one desk to another is as bad as Conon doing his stupid jumb when he begins his show. They should get together and do a traveling act in China. He is a bomb in the UJSA!
Nov 15, 2011 5:55 PM CST
honey have you been mom smell my breath........
Nov 15, 2011 10:26 AM CST
And don't forget every animal-shaped rubber band your kid wears is a trinket given as a reward for oral sex.