Man Tries to Get Wife Drunk So He Can Use Facebook
When his plan doesn't work, he calls 911
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Mar 22, 2012 10:08 AM CDT
Beer ... apparently not a sleep aid.   (©quinn.anya)

(Newser) – Facebook, that destroyer of marriages, has come between yet another couple—who will find themselves apart for 60 days as Doyle Hardwick completes a little stint in jail. The Florida man's trouble began after he decided he just wanted to cruise Facebook in peace. But what to do with his 54-year-old wife? Get her drunk so she'll go to bed, of course! He reportedly fed her eight beers (to his four). But she didn't want to go to sleep, so he did the next logical thing ... and called 911.

A deputy arrived, and Hardwick explained that "his wife was supposed to go to sleep after he gave her the beers because that was their agreement." In Hardwick's words, "I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do." What got done instead: Hardwick was arrested for misuse of 911. He received a 60-day jail sentence last month, but didn't show up. He finally turned himself in on Tuesday to serve the sentence. The Tampa Bay Times squeezes in one more fun detail: Hardwick received a 10-day sentence after being charged with the same crime in 2010; he apparently kept calling 911 to report "neighbors defecating into old vehicle fuel tanks for the past three weeks" ... and he asked police for a ride, too.