Back in January, John McCain kicked off the big-name endorsements of Mitt Romney … by accidentally promising that "President Obama," rather than "President Romney," would turn the country around—and the endorsements haven't gotten much better since then, Jon Stewart explained last night. Other Republican VIPs are finally starting to fall in line behind Romney, but only because he's inevitable. "Everybody's decided. They're all getting behind him. What they haven't decided is … why."
There was George HW Bush's endorsement, during which Stewart says Romney appeared to be holding George and Barbara hostage; Paul Ryan, whose message appeared to be, "We have voted enough"; and Marco Rubio, who admitted he's pretty much only endorsing Romney because he's going to end up the nominee. Even "fellow Northeastern, moderate, dull" former governor George Pataki couldn't seem to stop listing Romney's problems during his endorsement. "These are his supporters, for God's sake," Stewart moaned. "This is politics, presidential politics. Fake it better!"