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'I Ask That You Live': Pat Tillman's Love Letters to His Wife

New book details correspondence over 11-year relationship

By Polly Davis Doig,  Newser Staff

Posted Jun 24, 2012 10:35 AM CDT

(Newser) – Before he was an NFL star, Army Ranger, and fallen war hero, Pat Tillman was just a guy who loved a girl. Tillman's high school sweetheart and widow, Marie, reveals snippets of that guy via the letters he wrote her over the course of their 11-year relationship in a new book, The Letter. Highlights of Tillman's writings, via the New York Post:

  • From a juvenile hall where he was sent after a fight at a pizza joint, 1994: “Hi, dude, I am glad I got a chance to see you. Actually glad is really not the word, but the less I think about it the easier it is.”

  • From a separate college in 1995: "I want to thank you for the two years you’ve given me. Though we have been apart for much of them I would not trade them for anything. I would like to say “who knew it would have lasted so long?” but I can’t . . . I always knew. I wish we were together so I could show you just how much you mean to me. I love you."
  • From Army basic training in 2002: “Marie, I know this isn’t the direction you saw us moving . . . I know this isn’t the life you dream to live . . . I know at times this path will be rough . . . And I know at times you’ll feel alone. Regardless of our direction, dreams or path . . . I know we have each other and I love you. And that’s all I need to know.”
  • From an undated deployment: "It’s hard to think about how bad this situation really is sometimes. I hate being away from you, I hate the fact that you’re growing into a life so far removed from me. What the f--- kind of marriage involves my absence for months at a time? I think I may actually be a bad person for putting you through this."
  • And from his "in case I die" letter: “It’s difficult to summarize 10 years together, my love for you, my hopes for your future, and pretend to be dead all at the same time . . . I simply cannot put all this into words. I’m not ready willing or able. ... Through the years I’ve asked a great deal of you, therefore it should surprise you little that I have another favor to ask. I ask that you live."

Marie Tillman, widow of former Arizona State University football player Pat Tillman, has released a new book detailing her late husband's love letters to her.
Marie Tillman, widow of former Arizona State University football player Pat Tillman, has released a new book detailing her late husband's love letters to her.   (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
In this June 2003 file photo, Pat Tillman is shown.
In this June 2003 file photo, Pat Tillman is shown.   (AP Photo/Photography Plus via Williamson Stealth Media Solutions, FILE)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 7 comments
MattW.
Jun 24, 2012 7:01 PM CDT
B-Diddy do you have PTSD or something? Intermittent Explosive Disorder? What's with the rage man? You don't like Tillman because the military decided to cover up what happened to him? Not his fault, and it certainly isn't the military all the vets in my family served for. Friendly fire is unfortunate, but it happens, so I don't understand why the didn't just come out with it? Other than they knew the kids were out for blood. The military has tons of friendly fire cases but they must have been of the opinion that it was a wrongful death. Otherwise it makes no sense to cover it up. Also his wife and the family only started making it known loudly when they found out what was going on. Before they kept it as quiet as they could, but the team and the media kept pulling them back in to talk about it even though they wanted to grieve. Your argument also doesn't make sense that a guy who gets paid a ton, doing something he loves, would just drop that to go to one of the worst hell holes on the planet and be away from his wife and the rest of his family to show off. Show off to who? That's just insane for anyone, let alone a guy who has his life set in professional sports. You don't know his wife personally so how do you know she is living the high life? Her husband is dead and you think that she is callous enough to not care and make it about money? What a disgrace to veterans you are. Shitting on him and his wife for no other reason than your pathetic, illogical opinion. If it's because his family went after the military, they were right to. We need to keep things like this and the rape epidemic in the military in check, because I fear for the kids I'm gonna have one day if they decide to go into service. Dumbass kids full of bloodlust and hate with itchy trigger fingers do not make or represent good soldiers, and how dare the military defend them to save a little face ffs...
GaryC.
Jun 24, 2012 12:30 PM CDT
 "This guy was just a Fucking Show off!" Pat Tilman joined the army because his brother was enlisting.... Not to mention giving up his NFL salary for about 25k a year. I wouldn't call that showing off.   The media and government tried to milk his death, McCain got on stage at Tilman's funeral just for the press. McCain didn't know Tilman was an atheist until after his speech about Tilman now severing god in heaven. Tilman was a good soldier, but would of made a hell of a Marine.
Rammrodd
Jun 24, 2012 11:21 AM CDT
Nice guy, but...it's always troubling to see an American soldier with an enema bag on his head. Looks sorta...European.
 

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