Like everyone else, Stephen Colbert was excited for yesterday's much-hyped Donald Trump announcement. "This will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election game changer in the human history of time, OK?" he predicted on the Colbert Report. And as far as he was concerned, the actual announcement—that Trump would give Obama $5 million to release various documents—didn't disappoint. In fact, it inspired him to make an offer of his own.
"I will write you a check for one million dollars from Colbert SuperPac," he told Trump, "one million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth." Like Trump, he set a deadline of 5pm on Halloween—"My balls have a thing that night"—and like Trump, he insisted he would be thrilled to pay up. "Nothing would make me happier than to write this check. And nothing would make America happier than having something going into your mouth instead of coming out of it."