Scribes Cut Deal With Tom Cruise's UA

Really? 'Hot Tub Time Machine' is the best we can do?

(NEWSER) - “2010 very possibly is the worst year in the history of motion pictures,” declares Joe Queenan in a hilarious Wall Street Journal piece bemoaning the downfall of American cinema. You know things are bad in Hollywood when:

• “Shia LaBeouf—who looks a bit like the young George W. Bush” is being passed off “as the second coming of Tom Cruise.”
• The top contenders for Next Big Action Star are Jake Gyllenhaal and Adrien Brody. “None of these are logical heirs to the throne abandoned by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Harrison Ford and Sylvester Stallone. They may not even be legitimate heirs to the throne vacated by Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme.”

Movies disappoint, but rarely go the way of Ishtar

(NEWSER) - It's rare these days to see a big-studio movie truly bomb, and that's a shame, laments Tom Shone of Slate . Sure, we get our share of misfires like Jonah Hex or The A-Team , but few reach the depths of those glorious financial busts of yesteryear like Ishtar, Waterworld, and Cutthroat Island—"the swashbuckler that derailed the careers of Renny Harlin, Geena Davis, and Matthew Modine—and the last film to actually force a movie studio to close, Heaven's Gate-style." More»

The answering machine, the broken cell phone, the lack of GPS...

(NEWSER) - Ever notice that movie trailers are constantly employing the record scratch sound effect—even though today’s youth have no clue what that sound actually is? "Pop culture has shown no inclination to discard obsolete tropes simply because they are obsolete," writes Adam Sternbergh, who points out five other cinematic offenders in New York :

• Answering machines: Hey, if the protagonist were to use voicemail, how ever would the audience hear the serial killer’s scary message?
• X-rays: Nowadays, X-rays are displayed digitally, on a screen. But hanging a big, floppy piece of film on a light board is so much more dramatic!

Even Hollywood can make movies for the non-'lily-livered:' Nile Gardiner

(NEWSER) - "Hollywood may well be a bastion of liberalism, but it does continue to occasionally produce major films that advance conservative principles," Nile Gardiner writes in the Telegraph . His best of the aughts:

1. Master and Commander, 2003: The Peter Weir flick starring Russell Crowe is "an epic tale of heroism and love for country in the face of incredible odds, and a glowing tribute to the grit and determination that forged the British Empire."
2. Black Hawk Down, 2001: Critics may have called it an "anti-war film," but Gardiner doesn't buy it. Instead, it's "an extraordinarily powerful and deeply patriotic tribute to the heroism and bravery of the US military."

Troubled starlet suffered cardiac arrest

(NEWSER) - Brittany Murphy, who made a splash playing the makeover victim in Clueless and later battled substance abuse, died today in Los Angeles. She was 32. The LA Fire Department was called to a home owned by Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, where she was found in cardiac arrest and could not be revived, TMZ reports and multiple sources are confirming. More»