Just in case the holidays had you thinking your family was the craziest to ever grace the planet, here's Britney Spears' former in-laws to the rescue: In what Radar is calling "bombshell court papers," the brother of Kevin Federline (Spears' ex-husband No. 2, for those keeping track at home) claims that he fathered the pop star's first son, Sean Preston. If that's not far enough out in Crazyland, Christopher Federline also is seeking a restraining order against Spears, alleging that she stole from him, blackmailed him, and harassed him. “She is out-of-control and a maniac,” he says in the papers, as first reported by the National Enquirer.
Christopher Federline says that when he confronted Spears about swiping his Capitol One card and running up $4,500 in charges, "Britney laughed at me [and] told me my brother Kevin ruined her life. Britney made fun of me and told me I have a small penis. She also blackmailed me and told me if I tell the police that she stole my credit card, that she will tell the world I’m the true father of Sean Preston, not Kevin." It gets better/worse: "I do confess I slept with Britney, and I am the true father, but the public does not need to know," he says.
Update: Fiction is at times stranger than truth: The Smoking Gun reports that the story is a hoax, and that noted con guy Jonathan Lee Riches was behind the fake court papers. He was just busted for posing as the uncle of Newtown shooter Adam Lanza. More here.