Dead Guy Writes Own Obituary, and It's Awesome
Jack Holden touts his life of 'endless laughter and debauchery'
By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff
Posted Jun 3, 2013 2:18 PM CDT
Updated Jun 8, 2013 12:55 PM CDT

(Newser) – At first glance, John E. "Jack" Holden's obituary doesn't seem very ... respectful. Referring to Holden's death as "taking the Deep Six," it also claims the WWII veteran won "the Distinguished Fleeing Cross for avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances" and that, after the death of his wife of 61 years, he "had a number of other wives, none of which were his." Then you get to the end: "Jack Holden wrote this obituary several years ago."

The charming piece, which appears on Lancaster Online, notes that Holden's life was "filled with endless laughter and debauchery," and adds that his four children "managed to survive despite being related to their father." We recommend you read the whole thing, then check out another delightful obituary.

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Showing 3 of 19 comments
Jun 8, 2013 3:49 PM CDT
He had a wry wit, obviously.Was he Irish?
Jun 8, 2013 3:46 PM CDT
It was his way of life and he was happy with that I presume. Definitely is much easier to live with fun without sense of responsibility for some people but you have to be born this way. Would you like the doctor before surgery tell you laughing, "well if you lucky you might survive".
Jun 4, 2013 7:56 AM CDT
I like this fellow. i would like to read another obituary of his, someday, should he choose to write one.