Amazon's Funniest Fake Product Reviews
Uranium, horse masks, lady pens, and more
By Ruth Brown, Newser Staff
Posted Aug 17, 2013 1:58 PM CDT
Accoutrements Horse Head Mask   (

(Newser) – Satirical Amazon product reviews have become a long-running meme and an unintended drawcard of the site (remember all those hilarious Mitt Romney-inspired binder reviews?). Now Amazon itself has embraced the phenomenon by posting a collection of its own favorites. Some highlights:

  • BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen: "I don't use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application, but BIC Cristal for Her is a lovely little writing utensil all the same. Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today!"
  • Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk: "It's OK Iguess, but the bumpy road majkes it hard to type. And theree's a lot of pedeestrians and traffic that keep distracting me fromm my computer."

  • Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal: "Do you have any idea where this stuff comes from? It's excreted by squeezing the wobbly thingie on the UNDERSIDE OF A COW! That's hardly made clear anywhere on the label."
  • Uranium Ore: "I was very disappointed to have my uranium confiscated at the airport. It was a gift for my son for his birthday. Also, I'm in prison now, so that's not good either."
  • Accoutrements Horse Head Mask: "It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways."
Click to read Amazon's full list or read some of Newser's favorites.

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Showing 3 of 10 comments
Aug 18, 2013 12:36 PM CDT
No instructions in the Buble on how to have a sense of humor? Well we all can't be well balanced, some have to be humorless, Xian dorks. Just laughin' . . .
Aug 18, 2013 11:28 AM CDT
Glad I clicked through, the choices on the newser page are not first tier.
Aug 18, 2013 10:01 AM CDT
I'll show you funny Amazon. Barrettines Mentholated Spirits, for cleaning paint brushes was posted under food in the UK. Read it and LYAO!!! Here is one. " When Gerard, my husband of thirty eight years, questioned my excessive use of Barrettine's Methylated Spirit, I told him that It's the most effective way to rid one's calligraphy brush of stubborn Indian Ink. However, if truth be known, the consumption of Barrettine is the ONLY effective relief I have found from this utterly nightmarish sham of a marriage. If only I could leave my husband and marry a 6ft bottle of Barrettine."