Woman's Obit Shares Lessons on Life, Panty Hose
Mary 'Pink' Mullaney's family pays homage
By John Johnson, Newser Staff
Posted Sep 10, 2013 5:43 PM CDT
   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – The AV Club loves the obituary for an 85-year-old woman in Wisconsin named Mary "Pink" Mullaney. Why? Maybe because her family filled it with lessons imparted by Mullaney in life, including, “Never throw away old pantyhose. Use the old ones to tie gutters, child-proof cabinets, tie toilet flappers, or hang Christmas ornaments.” Explains Mullaney's daughter to WAOW: "We said, 'How can we be like her and carry her pinkness across?'"

Some other gems:

  • "Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone."
  • "Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats."
  • "Never say mean things about anybody; they are 'poor souls to pray for.'"
  • "Make the car dance by lightly tapping the brakes to the beat of the song on the radio."
  • "If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay."
Read the full obituary here. Or read a moving, self-written obit from a Seattle writer.

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Comments
Showing 3 of 5 comments
azi29
Sep 10, 2013 8:24 PM CDT
Who else condones neglecting their child in the basement and feeding them through a laundry chute?
Scaramouche
Sep 10, 2013 7:27 PM CDT
"If he doesn't leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay." Hah!
sickdaddy
Sep 10, 2013 6:15 PM CDT
Possums are spawns of Satan.