You, and pretty much every scientist in the world, may find this hard to believe, but a top Egyptian general says he has discovered a cure HIV and hepatitis C, along with a wand that can detect the latter virus from across a room. In a press conference on Sunday, Maj. Gen. Ibrahim Abdul Atti said that over 22 years he had personally researched a cure, eventually getting help from Egyptian military intelligence, the New York Times reports. "Defeating the virus is a very easy process, but God grants wisdom to whoever he wants," Atti said. "You will never find another patient suffering from the hepatitis C virus." The military, however, said it would not release the cures outside of Egypt.
The military released a video showing patients being scanned with an antenna-like device called "C-Fast" that, according to the Cairo paper Al-Ahram, purportedly has no electronics and is "powered by the body's static electricity"; it was reportedly based on bomb-detecting equipment. If AIDS is detected, the patient's blood is purportedly pulled from the body, purified, and returned in a "Complete Cure" treatment, curing the patient in as little as 16 hours, according to CNN. The general likened the process to feeding the disease back to the patient in kofta. The announcement has been met with just a wee bit of skepticism. Egypt's top presidential science adviser told an Egyptian newspaper that the "cure" was "unrealistic" and "an insult to Egypt." Per the CDC, Egypt has the world's highest prevalence of hepatitis C: at least 10% of the population has it.