A couple of weeks before she died of pancreatic cancer, Emily Phillips gathered her family around to read them something special: the obituary she had written for herself. "It was one of the most special moments of my life to hear my mother tell her life story in her words," daughter Bonnie Upright tells ABC News. And what a life story. "It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away," the death notice in the Florida Times-Union read after her March 25 passing, which came just 29 days after her diagnosis. "Once again I didn't get things my way!" The 1,045-word obituary detailed everything in the Orange Park, Florida, woman's life: the good (marrying her "tall, dark, and handsome" husband Charlie), the bad ("my older sister pushing me off my tricycle"), and the hopefully now-rectified ("I'd also like to apologize to Mary Ann for tearing up her paper dolls").
The 69-year-old even confessed to finding new love late in life. "Just when I thought I was too old to fall in love again, I became a grandmother, and my five grand-angels stole not only my heart, but also spent most of my money," she wrote. Phillips dared readers to challenge her self-analysis—"If you don't believe it, just ask me. Oh wait, I'm afraid it's too late for questions. Sorry"—but she ended wistfully. "So … I was born; I blinked; and it was over. … Please don't cry because I'm gone. Instead be happy that I was here. (Or maybe you can cry a little bit. After all, I have passed away). Today I am happy and I am dancing. Probably naked." Read the full obit here, as so many already have; the paper's Facebook post on it has nearly 5,000 likes. (This Maine man's obit was candid in a very different way.)