Here Are Your Golden Globe Winners

Ricky Gervais kicked off the 2016 Golden Globes with an intro that surprised absolutely no one, starting off by shushing the audience and calling them "disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum." And the awards were off!:

• Channing Tatum and the bear from The Revenant (aka Jonah Hill) presented the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture, with the bear expressing his thanks to everyone who gave a 2-year-old bear from the Sierras a chance. Anyway, the award went to Kate Winslet for Steve Jobs.

• Best Supporting Actress, TV went to Maura Tierney for The Affair.
• Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical went to a breathless, animated Rachel Bloom for My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
• Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical went to Amazon's Mozart in the Jungle.
• Nabbing the BBC's first win of the night was Wolf Hall for Best Miniseries or TV Movie.
• Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie went to new Star Wars darling Oscar Isaac for Show Me a Hero.
• Christian Slater, who's been toiling in Hollywood for four decades, took home his first Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor, TV, for his role in Mr. Robot.
• After Jamie Foxx pulled his best Steve Harvey and proclaimed the Best Original Score award went to non-nominee Straight Outta Compton, Ennio Morricone was announced as the winner for The Hateful Eight. Director Quentin Tarantino accepted.
• Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama went to Jon Hamm for Mad Men.
• Matt Damon picked up the award for Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical for The Martian.
• Mostly joy (and probably little anger, disgust, or fear) was felt by those behind Inside Out, which took the award for Best Animated Film.
• Sylvester Stallone got a standing ovation for winning Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture for Creed. "I want to thank my imaginary friend Rocky Balboa for being the best friend I ever had," he said while accepting.
• Best Screenplay went to Aaron Sorkin for Steve Jobs.
• Gael Garcia Bernal picked up the award for Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical for Amazon's Mozart in the Jungle.
• Best Foreign Language Film went to Son of Saul from Hungary.
• Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie went to a glamorous-looking Lady Gaga for America Horror Story: Hotel. "I feel like Cher in the John Patrick Shanley film Moonstruck right now," she gushed.
• Best Original Song went to "Writing’s on the Wall," written for Spectre by Sam Smith, of "Stay With Me" fame, and Jimmy Napes.
• Best TV Series, Drama went to Mr. Robot, appearing on USA, a cable network that "has never been a Globes favorite," the New York Times notes.
• Tom Hanks introduced the Cecil B. DeMille Award, noting a "single name can define an artist who's a peer and equal of all of the greatest legends of our craft." He added that, if the name "Washington" wasn't enough, "let the first name carry all the weight. ... That name is Denzel."
• Best Director went to Alejandro Inarritu for The Revenant, which he said was the most difficult film he'd ever worked on. "Pain is temporary, but a film is forever, so who cares?" he noted.
• Taraji P. Henson nabbed Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama for her role as Cookie in Empire.
• Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical went to Jennifer Lawrence for Joy.
• A heavily bearded Jim Carrey gave out the award for Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical to The Martian.
• Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama went to Brie Larson for her performance in Room.
• Leonardo DiCaprio scooped up the Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama award for The Revenant. "I've never had an experience like this in my entire life," he said about making the movie with Inarritu and his castmates. He also acknowledged the "first nations" in the film and indigenous people throughout the world.
• And the final award of the night, for Best Motion Picture, Drama, went to The Revenant. Director Inarritu's movie Birdman won the best picture Oscar in 2015.

(More Golden Globes stories.)