As vast as the Internet is, every blog post can be summed up into pretty much one of seven basic types, explains Lore Sjoberg in Wired:
- Be upset! "Terrible things are happening in one of the following: the world, the web, or a TV show you really like."
- Buy a thing! Screw mass media, let me post about the crappy gadget I must have and let's "shove advertising down each other's throats."
- Animals are cute! Though beware: "animals also includes babies and children younger than 8."
- People are dumb! "We like our animals to appear smarter than they really are and our humans dumber."
- Something I like, only different! "The Lord of the Rings—if Frodo was a ninja!"
- Weird science! Generally meaning "homemade experiments involving explosives."
- Me, the blogger! "Why discuss your hopes and fears when you can just post the results of online tests, show cartoon versions of yourself, and collect "friends"?"