With the college football season set to kick off Thursday, blogger The Kid outlines the five weekends that will help decide who plays in the national championship game on Jan. 8 in Miami.
- Aug. 30: Illinois and Missouri square off in St. Louis; Clemson and Alabama meet in Atlanta. “Grilled sausages will be distributed according to need,” Kid writes.
- Sept. 13: No. 2 Ohio State at No. 3 Southern Cal. “It’s the Rose Bowl in September, winner has a (virtually) clear road to the title game.”
- Sept. 20: “While the previous week is like taking a belt of the Jaeger bottle, this weekend looks at you square in the eye like a bottle of the devil’s private tequila stock and says ‘Bring it.’” Top-ranked Georgia visits Arizona State; Louisiana State-Auburn is also this Saturday.
- Oct. 11: “The obligatory shoutout to any weekend that counter programs against Oklahoma-Texas, but goddamn this is some serious reason to buy a satellite dish.”
- Nov. 22: “If your family, marriage, or friendships are still intact by this week, kudos to you:” Michigan-Ohio State highlights a rivalry weekend.