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How IM Sapped My Ability to Deal

End of an intense online relationship forces writer to examine IM dependency

By Michael Foreman, Newser User

Posted Sep 7, 2008 5:05 AM CDT

(Newser) – After breaking up with his live-in boyfriend online, writer Will Doig realized IM had become an intimate part of their relationship, and the fallout was crushing. "At the first hint of crisis, my response had always been the same"—instant message his boyfriend "for an impromptu therapy session," he writes in Nerve. After the breakup, Doig went through "IM withdrawal, pregnant with random notions, trivia, gossip and anecdotes"—and nothing to do with them.

Over time, "I began to relearn how to shut up and work," writes Doig, who admits continuing to virtually stalk his ex on his Buddy List. Two years later, he has moved on to a less codependent relationship—offline. "I don't think he even has IM," Doig writes of his new boyfriend. "I don't have any uninterrupted 24-hour conversation in my life anymore. Turns out, I like this way better."

[Images (2)]

[Quotes (1)]

After breaking up with his boyfriend online, Will Doig realized IM had become an intimate part of their relationship. (Shutterstock)

Breaking up online entailed "ALL-CAPS PROFANITY, *sighing* and accusations inwhat waas claerly rushd typing as each of us raced to get the last word," writes Doig (Shutterstock)

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Eventually I came to terms with the fact that whatever ridiculous ideas or narratives were rooting around in my brain, I was just going to have to wait until nighttime to pour them all out. - Will Doig

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How IM Sapped My Ability to Deal