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'Clinton Wins!' And Other Might Have Beens

By Neal Colgrass,  Newser Staff

Posted Nov 1, 2008 10:08 AM CDT

(Newser) – Reporters are already writing up advance analyses of how each of the two presidential candidates achieved victory next Tuesday—to be ready for either outcome. Slate has a little fun imagining some of the other scenarios that might have played out:

  • Hillary Clinton claimed a historic win after John McCain's oft-used phrase, "lipstick on a pig," insulted voters—and his VP pick, a black police lieutenant form small-town Maryland, backfired on him.

  • Wall Street's collapse looked like a boon to Barack Obama until voters turned to Mitt Romney's business smarts and "Money for Everyone" slogan; his purchase of the Treasury didn't hurt either.
  • Mike Huckabee's win was just divine. Obama won 46 states, but Huckabee somehow claimed victory; Larry King said his hand was "guided" to vote Huckabee.
  • John Edwards warmed America's hearts with a video on his loving home life. Director Rielle Hunter won "unprecedented access" to his administration.
Read up on more imaginary wins by clicking on the link below.

Mike Huckabee reacts to winning the Kansas Republican presidential caucuses as he speaks to reporters at his hotel in Washington, Saturday, Feb. 9, 2008.
Mike Huckabee reacts to winning the Kansas Republican presidential caucuses as he speaks to reporters at his hotel in Washington, Saturday, Feb. 9, 2008.   (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)
Hillary Clinton celebrates with her husband former President Clinton after winning the democratic New Hampshire Primary in Manchester, N.H., Tuesday Jan. 8, 2008.
Hillary Clinton celebrates with her husband former President Clinton after winning the democratic New Hampshire Primary in Manchester, N.H., Tuesday Jan. 8, 2008.   (AP Photo)
Hillary Clinton greets the media after a news conference at her national headquarters Wednesday, Feb. 6, 2008, in Arlington, Va.
Hillary Clinton greets the media after a news conference at her national headquarters Wednesday, Feb. 6, 2008, in Arlington, Va.   (AP Photo)
Hillary Clinton reacts to supporters as she campaigns for Barack Obama at an American Federation of Teachers Union rally in Cincinnati Friday, Oct. 31, 2008.
Hillary Clinton reacts to supporters as she campaigns for Barack Obama at an American Federation of Teachers Union rally in Cincinnati Friday, Oct. 31, 2008.   (AP Photo)
Sen. Hillary Clinton D-N.Y., campaigns for Democratic presidential candidate, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., in Omaha, Neb., Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2008.
Sen. Hillary Clinton D-N.Y., campaigns for Democratic presidential candidate, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., in Omaha, Neb., Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2008.   (AP Photo/Nati Harnik)
Hillary Clinton looks at the crowd as Barack Obama speaks at a rally in Orlando, Monday, Oct. 20, 2008.
Hillary Clinton looks at the crowd as Barack Obama speaks at a rally in Orlando, Monday, Oct. 20, 2008.   (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)
Mitt Romney speaks to supporters after winning the Michigan primary in Southfield, Mich., Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008.
Mitt Romney speaks to supporters after winning the Michigan primary in Southfield, Mich., Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008.   (AP Photo/LM Otero)
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