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SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2009
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5

Little Left for Fiancée of Fallen Soldier

Unmarried loved ones have no standing, get nothing from Army

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(Newser) – To the US Army bureaucracy, love means little without a marriage certificate—so the fiancée of a man killed in Iraq was left with nothing other than what his family was willing to part with. Now, the Washington Post reports, Kyle Harper, 27, is trying to forge a path very different from what she and Sgt. Michael Hullender had planned.

Harper treasures the ring Hullender gave her. But as his fiancée, she wasn’t entitled to grief counseling or even officially notified of his death. Her request for Hullender’s dog tags caused a rift with his father. Harper found solace in emailing others in similar situations; now she’s working as a grief counselor. “I still think about him every day,” she says, “but that can’t be all that I am.”

In this undated photo provided by the US Army, Sgt. Michael R. Hullender is shown.
In this undated photo provided by the US Army, Sgt. Michael R. Hullender is shown.   (AP Photo)
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5 comments
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TerrifiedCitizen
May 25, 09 2:19 PM CDT
If a girl can't convince a man to marry her, or vice versa, then move on and find another. Reply
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shonangreg
May 25, 09 9:07 PM CDT
Heartless comment, Terrified. Read the summary again and use a dictionary to look up the word, "finacee". .......................... These situations are just tragic for everyone involved and there is no easy solution -- other than having no more war . . .
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riffran
May 26, 09 7:57 AM CDT
damn that is so sad.....unfortunately paperwork and red tape has no compassion Reply
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kokuaguy
May 26, 09 9:37 PM CDT
And apparently his family has little compassion for her. I wonder why? Reply
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jeepgirl
Jul 8, 09 12:44 PM CDT
The family has/had a LOT of compassion for her - I know them and exactly what did and did not happen! She grasped for everything she could get from them . . . they complied with every reasonable request that she made mailing her a total of 7 boxes of Michael's personal items. Nothing was enough for this girl! The lack of compassion was totally on her side - the family understood her pain and invited her in to their home - she was there daily during the week of the funeral - as well as the funeral plans - read the entire story at the Washington Post. She is the one who cut off communication with the family after being told 'no more'. Apparently Michael's personal effects were all she wanted - not a personal relationship with his father. Reply
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