Snappy newsletters. Simple Facebook sharing. Spirited comments. Sweet features are waiting… GET THEM NOW!

Hot on Facebook
Man Tries to Order Priciest Starbucks Drink Ever Total cost: $23.60 »

Energy Drinks: The Manic Lure of Liquid Uppers

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Jun 28, 2009 5:37 AM CDT

(Newser) – Energy drinks are experiencing such a boom that every group seems to have its own—like the Christian “1 in 3 Trinity” beverage, “fused with both ‘fruit of the spirit’ and 1000 mg of taurine,” writes Julia Langbein for Gourmet. Drink makers “obviously want to get them into the hands of everyday people, not just those brave few that razor-scooter out of a whale’s blowhole for a living.”

But the real question is, “Who needs this violent quality of energy?” Is anyone’s daily life really as intense as the drink slogans make them out to be? Langbein considered real life exchanges through the lens of an energy drink:

  • “Julia, can I get you a coffee?” “No, I have a ton of editing to do, I need the venom of a Death Adder which has the power to strike back.”
  • “How about an espresso then?” “I will bite you in your neck if you do not leave me immediately to the challenges of my intense life.”

Dr Pepper Snapple Group introduces Venom, shown here in Black Mamba.
Dr Pepper Snapple Group introduces Venom, shown here in Black Mamba.   (PRNewsFoto/Dr Pepper Snapple Group)
Jolt Energy is the world's first energy drink.
Jolt Energy is the world's first energy drink.   (PRNewsFoto/Rexam)
Red Bull energy drink.
Red Bull energy drink.   (©www.VoteJoeC.com)
« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow

'When you want the energy to succeed where only the leanest and meanest survive, you need the penetrating Venom of a Mojave Rattler' —do only the leanest and meanest survive, say, a Tuesday? - Julia Langbein

« Prev« Prev | Next »Next » Slideshow
To report an error on this story, notify our editors.
A snapshot of the day's best news stories.
 
COMMENTS
Showing 1 of 1 comment
2-bits
Jun 28, 2009 6:51 AM CDT
Actually, most energy drinks have far less caffeine than a cup of coffee and less sugar than a Coke. I don't know how the other ingredients interact, however.

More Newser Stories

Jury Still Out on Whether Energy Drinks Help Athletes

The New Bachelor Party Excess: Food

Sorry, Boys: The Thong Is Dead

Denim's Back, But Denim-on-Denim Is Pushing It

Today's Hippest Beer Accessory: The Growler


NEWS FROM OUR PARTNERS
Other Sites We Like:   24/7 Wall St.   |   Betty Confidential   |   BuzzFeed   |   Cracked   |   Fark   |   Timelines   |   The Frisky   |   Geek Sugar   |   NewsOne