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How to Stage a Vacation Coup

It can be done, with help from the expert

By Evann Gastaldo,  Newser Staff

Posted Jul 10, 2009 1:05 PM CDT

(Newser) – Planning a summer vacation? It may be harder than you think to get away from your needy colleagues, but with “aggressive, simultaneous upward and downward management,” it can be done, writes Stanley Bing in Fortune:

  • First, get the boss’s permission and make sure your subordinates know you’ve claimed the dates. “Establishing a bona fide vacation is a war. Yours should not be a casualty.”

  • Ten days before your vacation, “do a massive core dump on all available life forms—reportees, colleagues, the guy who cleans the fish tank. ‘What’s this meeting with Beanie and Cecil doing on my agenda?’ you may ask the clueless noid who put it there.”
  • Make sure to “use the phrase ‘When I’m on vacation next week’ no matter what the subject at hand” whenever you’re within earshot of your boss.
  • When your boss inevitably informs you of an important meeting during your vacation, “do not flinch. Executive amnesia is a form of authoritarian terrorism that must be fought.”

Getting here for two weeks, instead of sitting at your desk, will require some impressive skills when it comes to both your boss and your subordinates. But you can do it!
Getting here for two weeks, instead of sitting at your desk, will require some impressive skills when it comes to both your boss and your subordinates. But you can do it!   (©pocketwiley)
Sure, it will take some coordination to make sure your time-off request goes smoothly--but it can be done.
Sure, it will take some coordination to make sure your time-off request goes smoothly--but it can be done.   (©bhollar)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 4 comments
2-bits
Jul 11, 2009 4:15 AM CDT
Hey man I just a little me time okay
nick
Jul 10, 2009 8:34 AM CDT
The cell phone now makes it impossible to get away from the office for several days vacation, so unless your boss believes you don't have one, you're subject to "emergency" recall at his discretion. So go, at least, to Europe.
plstyle
Jul 10, 2009 8:08 AM CDT
Who would've thought that all the warning signs were there, just days before the guy was joking about killing his boss..

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