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Uproar After NC State Agent 'Fixes' Girl's Lunch Preschooler has to eat chicken nuggets instead of mom's meal »

A Guide to SPFs, From 4 to 233

Honestly, is 100+ really necessary?

By Evann Gastaldo, Newser Staff

Posted Aug 3, 2009 1:26 PM CDT

(Newser) – The development of SPF 100+ sunscreen has led to confusion for some consumers—or at least that's Zev Borow's excuse for a tongue-in-cheek guide to the wide world of sun protection, in the New Yorker:

SPF 4: “You’re joking, right? This is some kind of joke? 4? We make this stuff for armadillos.”
SPF 12: “Bonus: Comes with an ‘I AM, OR ONE DAY WILL BE, A DANGEROUSLY NEGLECTFUL PARENT’ visor.”

SPF 100: “This is to SPF 99 and below as excellent heroin is to Capri Sun juice boxes.”
SPF 125: “Remember the first time you were allowed into an airport first-class lounge? Or experienced oral sex? Add using SPF 125 sunscreen to the list of experiences that you will never forget.”
SPF 150: “Actually repels the fear and anxiety and vulnerability and paralyzing paralysis that affects so many of us each and every time we walk outside during daylight hours.”
SPF 175: “Ever wanted to have unprotected sex with a prostitute in Haiti? Don’t answer. Doesn’t matter. The point is with SPF 175 that’s now an option.”
SPF 233: “Is not inexpensive. But, in the war against the evil that is the sun, can you put a price on freedom?”

[Images (3)]

[Quotes (1)]

In this photo released by China's Xinhua news agency, thousands of people flock to a bathing beach to cool themselves in Dalian, northeast China's Liaoning Province, on Saturday Aug. 1, 2009. (AP Photo/Xinhua, Wang Xizeng)

LORNE, AUSTRALIA - DECEMBER 31: A patron has sunscreen applied during The Falls Festival on December 31, 2007 in Lorne, Australia. (Getty Images)

Sharon Doyle puts sunscreen on the face of 9-year-old Savannah Stidham as they visit the beach June 20, 2006 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. (Getty Images)

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SPF 200—The truth is, most people are never going to need the level of protection this lotion provides. Recently indicted? Not a problem. Being hunted by a pack of rogue genetically mutated polar bears? Have a sandwich. Take a nap.
- Zev Borow

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A Guide to SPFs, From 4 to 233