George Sodini was apparently driven to murder by utter loneliness. The man suspected of killing three women in a suburban Pittsburgh gym appears to have left behind an online diary detailing his plans, CNN reports. “Why do this?? To young girls? Just read below,” it promises. In the entries that follow, Sodini complains that he hadn’t had a girlfriend since 1984, and hadn’t had sex since 1990, ending every entry with “Death Lives!”
“Why should I continue another 20+ years alone?” he writes. “This is Auschwitz Syndrome, to be in serious pain for so long one thinks it is normal.” The entries date back to November 5 (“Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome”) and include several false starts. “I chickened out! [Expletive] I brought the loaded guns and everything,” he writes after one attempt on January 6.