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TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2009
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17

Pain + Sacrifice = Marital Bliss

Adversity makes couples' bond stronger, experts say

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(Newser) – Marital bliss? Toss it out the window, and get down to pain and anguish ASAP, experts say. While many studies find that stress can exacerbate a marriage—turning a short-tempered husband into an abusive one, for example—some experts say adversity is the key to marital success. "It’s protective, helping solidify their commitment into an unshakeable us-vs.-the world resolve,” Tiffany Sharples writes in Time.

Even the economic downturn can help, says one marriage researcher who found that strong families in the Great Depression “banded together as a team and really became more cohesive in dealing with the economic crisis.” Misfortune, however, only benefits couples built on mutual support and willingness to sacrifice: “If your partner has a really big opportunity to sacrifice because of some crisis in your life, and they don't, that's pretty bad," says one expert.

Adversity can be the key to marital happiness, say experts, who point to sacrifice as an essential ingredient in marriage.
Adversity can be the key to marital happiness, say experts, who point to sacrifice as an essential ingredient in marriage.   (Shutterstock)
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Surviving the gauntlet of misfortune early in a relationship can be a valuable litmus test. - Tiffany Sharples, Time

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17 comments
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Jayster999
Aug 8, 09 5:13 PM CDT
Marriage = pain + sacrifice - bliss. Reply
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IN RESPONSE:
Deebles
Aug 8, 09 7:10 PM CDT
A very nice analysis Jay. Bliss is the loss of self--as in not feeling the pain or the sacrifice, but instead seeing and dealing with them as the way to contentment.
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weglad
Aug 8, 09 7:29 PM CDT
Sounds sad J. Hope it gets better for you.
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+2
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Jayster999
Aug 8, 09 7:56 PM CDT
weglad: Thanks, me too.
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+1
2-bits
Aug 8, 09 5:18 PM CDT
Sex works better. Reply
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-2
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