How to Take and Not Take Nude Pics of Yourself

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Aug 21, 2009 3:50 PM CDT
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(Newser) – "I don't have any experience in the realm of taking nude photos," admits Sam Greenspan on 11 Points, but he's "looked at millions" of them. Here are his tips for taking pics in the buff:

  • Don't shoot them yourself: Among other terrible things, MySpace has popularized the outstreched-arm self-portrait. "That's not a 'sexy' angle, it's a lazy angle."
  • Use makeup: Blemishes abound, and "you're not good enough with Photoshop" to fix them later. "The most important reason to fix all this stuff is because you MUST be confident."

  • Don't eat: "Have you ever gone a day without eating anything? It completely changes the way you feel. When you look in the mirror, you'll just feel like you look great."
  • Don't peek: "The single best way to be self-conscious (other than your little brother busting in on your photo shoot and yelling 'you look like a fat asshole') is to scroll through the camera halfway through the shoot."
  • Have a plan: "Naked photos of you now exist." You must "take whatever privacy measures you can to give yourself a 0.004 percent chance that they won't fall into the wrong hands. Because there's a 99.996 percent chance they will."
For the full list, click the link below.

A professional nude of Carla Bruni.
A professional nude of Carla Bruni.   (AP Photo)
This is probably a no-no in Greenspan's book.
This is probably a no-no in Greenspan's book.   (©Monsieur Gordon)
A tasteful nude photograph.
A tasteful nude photograph.   (Flickr)
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Before you shoot, get everything even remotely unsexy out of the room: Family photos, Scarface posters, garbage, unmade bed sheets, your kid. Almost no stuff is always better. - Sam Greenspan

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