How to Take and Not Take Nude Pics of Yourself
By Harry Kimball, Newser Staff
Posted Aug 21, 2009 3:50 PM CDT
A professional nude of Carla Bruni.   (AP Photo)

(Newser) – "I don't have any experience in the realm of taking nude photos," admits Sam Greenspan on 11 Points, but he's "looked at millions" of them. Here are his tips for taking pics in the buff:

  • Don't shoot them yourself: Among other terrible things, MySpace has popularized the outstreched-arm self-portrait. "That's not a 'sexy' angle, it's a lazy angle."
  • Use makeup: Blemishes abound, and "you're not good enough with Photoshop" to fix them later. "The most important reason to fix all this stuff is because you MUST be confident."

  • Don't eat: "Have you ever gone a day without eating anything? It completely changes the way you feel. When you look in the mirror, you'll just feel like you look great."
  • Don't peek: "The single best way to be self-conscious (other than your little brother busting in on your photo shoot and yelling 'you look like a fat asshole') is to scroll through the camera halfway through the shoot."
  • Have a plan: "Naked photos of you now exist." You must "take whatever privacy measures you can to give yourself a 0.004 percent chance that they won't fall into the wrong hands. Because there's a 99.996 percent chance they will."
For the full list, click the link below.

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Showing 3 of 5 comments
Sep 12, 2009 3:29 AM CDT
""And I don't care how you photograph a man's junk--it is just not pretty. "" i disagree with that statement completely...true beauty in art can be found everywhere, including the penis. but i agree that a stupid "dick pic" is not art.
Aug 22, 2009 12:53 PM CDT
The shark has now been jumped. First, with the picture of the "plus size" woman with the flabby belly and now this. Well its August, and that explains it all.
Aug 22, 2009 2:13 AM CDT
Well K, you gotta learn how to do it. Between husbands in '97 I dated a photographer who took many nudes of me. I always used my long hair to cover my face. Those photos are everywhere. My friend the bachelor doctor in 2004 told me he was in an internet relationship with a woman and showed me her picture. "That's me, you dumb ass." I said. Never show your face is a lesson many people should learn. And careful of the dragon covering your back. And I don't care how you photograph a man's junk--it is just not pretty.