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FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2009
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5

Help—I'm Jealous of My Own Kid!

Dads wrestle with idea that youngsters have it better than they did

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(Newser) – You’re trying to give your kids the best: karate lessons, top schools, the latest video games. “You couldn't be prouder, really,” writes Christopher Noxon in Details, until “it hits you: you’re jealous.” Your childhood was never this good, and now, as your kid expands his horizons, you’re sitting on the sidelines. "They know the difference between sushi and sashimi while you struggle to hang on, wincing from an Achilles tendon strained playing H-O-R-S-E."

The kids “are living a life of arts and leisure, and I'm living a life of grindstone and stress,” notes one father. What’s a dad to do? Let “your kids off the hook,” suggests a psychologist. “In the end, it's not jealousy—it's sadness for whatever you wish you had.” After all, notes Noxon, "whereas our dads asked us why we'd ever need a Fender, we watch from the wings as Junior shreds through the Green Day catalog." Recognize that, and the anger stops. “You can appreciate that what you're doing is providing what your parents weren't able to."

Sometimes giving your kid everything you never had isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Sometimes giving your kid everything you never had isn't all it's cracked up to be.
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I'm watching him getting better and better and realizing I'll never have that chance. It sounds silly, but I'm suddenly aware that I'll never be in 5-year-old shape again. - Dad Jason Avant

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5 comments
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ruserious
Aug 25, 09 12:53 PM CDT
I have an idea--hang with me here--don't buy your kids every little thing they ask for! Still with me? Shocking, I know. I bought my own car, my own clothes beyond age 14 when I got a job, I paid for my own college education (I think I sound kind of whiny right now--sorry). When I found out other kids' parents bought them things, I nearly went through the roof in disbelief. It doesn't have to be that way! Reply
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+14
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Zorro
Aug 25, 09 1:16 PM CDT
I have to agree with ruserious - just because you have the means to buy your kids anything they want, doesn't mean you should. I understand why many (most?) parents take this route, (1) its becoming the norm, (2) they believe it is helping the kids have a better life than they did, (3) all of their friends get this treatment, putting them at a "disadvantage" if they don't, and (4) frankly its easier. Parents need to have the strength to give time to their kids - not money. Maybe we that change we will have fewer self-absorbed, spoiled individuals that feel a sense of entitlement.
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+8
RobN
Aug 25, 09 1:20 PM CDT
In reality you should be thankful that your parents didn't spoil you rotten; now how about returning the favor by raising your own kid the same way. Reply
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+10
skeptik
Aug 25, 09 1:21 PM CDT
Jealous of your own kid?? Got news for you, you're a PARENT now, grow the fuck up & start acting like an ADULT instead of whining. The world does not revolve around YOU and since you have decided to bring another human being into this world, you have RESPONSIBILITIES. Grow up & get over it. Reply
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+2
Yourself
Aug 25, 09 1:28 PM CDT
100% agree with ruserious. this idea that kids have to have whatever you didn't have is just another reason we're in the mess we're in today. people don't save money cause they're so caught up in buying everything in this fake attempt at pleasing their kids. Reply
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+8
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