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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2009
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 OPINION 
15

To Save the Music Industry, Ban Music—and Whistling

The copyright arguments aren't going to stop until the day music dies

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(Newser) – The music industry wants royalties for the 30-second previews on iTunes—which is "bullshit," writes Nicholas DeLeon for TechGear. It's yet another foolish move in the battle to save the music industry, complains DeLeon. Luckily, he has a "foolproof" way to do just that: Ban music, "shut the whole damn industry down," send iPods to the bottom of the sea, and outlaw whistling.

A music-free society would be rid of  "the RIAA, its dunderhead henchmen and mollycoddled musicians," DeLeon writes, dreaming of a world without recording industry lawsuits. "There’s no piracy, there’s no sons-of-bitches illegally listening to unauthorized 30-second sound clips—think of the lost revenue!—and no reason to sue single mothers because their dumb kids downloaded three Britney Spears songs in 2001."

A bulldozer rolls over a pile of pirate CDs, DVDs and software in Lima, Peru.
A bulldozer rolls over a pile of pirate CDs, DVDs and software in Lima, Peru.   (AP Photo/Karel Navarro)
In DeLeon's vision of a music-free world, this is the only kind of burning of CDs that will be allowed.
In DeLeon's vision of a music-free world, this is the only kind of burning of CDs that will be allowed.   (Shutter Stock)
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All music radio stations will be scuttled, and we’ll mine the Sirius XM satellites for the useful metals they contain. Instrument stores will be transformed into Chuck E. Cheese’s or Discovery Zones.
- Nicholas DeLeon

Since both you guys can’t agree on whether or not you think it’s a good idea to sue a single mother for more money than she’ll ever see in her life let’s shut the whole damn industry down. - Nicholas DeLeon

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15 comments
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dontlikeyou
Sep 18, 09 9:40 AM CDT
Ban greed. Reply
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+4
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emptycalm
Sep 18, 09 12:01 PM CDT
that's ironic coming from someone who supports the most greedy pieces of shit on the planet.
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-1
shonangreg
Sep 18, 09 9:44 AM CDT
Just stop protecting the RIAA and the recording companies from the modern age. Let them go the way of AT&T operators. They are simply not needed anymore. Reply
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+14
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2-bits
Sep 18, 09 11:17 AM CDT
Music doesn't need an industry. Try thesixtyone.com for example.
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+2
Jes
Sep 18, 09 9:59 AM CDT
Mollycoddled musicians? Change that to mollycoddled managers and executives. Musicians don't make money from the RIAA, at least nothing substantial. Their income comes from concerts and merch. Reply
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+5
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