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SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2009
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Men More Likely to Abandon Sick Partners

Seven times as many women stay when serious illness strikes

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(Newser) – Relationships fail seven times more often when illness strikes the female partner than when it strikes the man. Researchers don't know why, but theories abound: “There is an immediate shift in a relationship when an illness is diagnosed,” a counselor tells the Times of London. Gender roles change more radically for men when partners become “patient and carer.” And there is often less sex and intimacy, “something many men struggle to accept.”

Marriages in which one spouse had a chronic, debilitating, or fatal disease like multiple sclerosis or cancer came under researchers' scrutiny. The numbers could be misleading, some say. In the same way that serious illness can be transformative and strengthen a relationship, it can also be a wake-up call to the patient. “To outsiders it might look as if the husband is leaving her,” a professor says. “But she may be saying ‘That’s it. I’ve had enough.’”

A woman in hospital. Men are 7 times more likely than women to leave ill partners.
A woman in hospital. Men are 7 times more likely than women to leave ill partners.   (Shutterstock)
They look happy now, but researchers think some men leave when illness strikes because it wasn't part of the bargain.
They look happy now, but researchers think some men leave when illness strikes because it wasn't part of the bargain.   (Shutterstock)
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I just woke up one day and realized I was fighting for my life alone, and that being part of this couple wasn’t helping me at all. I could devote more effort to the battle without him. Divorce was easy once I accepted that. - Karen Tyler, cancer patient

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22 comments
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Timinator2K
Oct 15, 09 12:23 PM CDT
Liberal Men's lives are FAR MORE IMPORTANT that their ill partner's need for their support, care and attention. "I MUST LEAVE YOU, DEAR, MOTHER EARTH NEEDS ME FAR MORE THAN I NEED YOU TO CURE HER FEVERALONG WITH THE GLOBAL HIGH PRIEST, AL GORE!" Reply
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Thinker
Oct 15, 09 12:38 PM CDT
Dear Timinator2K: you seem like such a stupid man.
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Phiom
Oct 15, 09 12:48 PM CDT
Tim, you are silly.
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Crispy
Oct 15, 09 5:42 PM CDT
Tim take your meds and try again later
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Spudsy
Oct 15, 09 8:02 PM CDT
Uh Tim? Wasn't it your holy buddy Newt Gingrich that dumped his wife on her cancer bed? Yes. Yes, it was Tim. Now there is a man who should not be allowed a "contract with America" unless it dictates he leaves politics.
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