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Men More Likely to Abandon Sick Partners

Seven times as many women stay when serious illness strikes

By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff

Posted Oct 15, 2009 12:11 PM CDT

(Newser) – Relationships fail seven times more often when illness strikes the female partner than when it strikes the man. Researchers don't know why, but theories abound: “There is an immediate shift in a relationship when an illness is diagnosed,” a counselor tells the Times of London. Gender roles change more radically for men when partners become “patient and carer.” And there is often less sex and intimacy, “something many men struggle to accept.”

Marriages in which one spouse had a chronic, debilitating, or fatal disease like multiple sclerosis or cancer came under researchers' scrutiny. The numbers could be misleading, some say. In the same way that serious illness can be transformative and strengthen a relationship, it can also be a wake-up call to the patient. “To outsiders it might look as if the husband is leaving her,” a professor says. “But she may be saying ‘That’s it. I’ve had enough.’”

A woman in hospital. Men are 7 times more likely than women to leave ill partners.
A woman in hospital. Men are 7 times more likely than women to leave ill partners.   (Shutterstock)
They look happy now, but researchers think some men leave when illness strikes because it wasn't part of the bargain.
They look happy now, but researchers think some men leave when illness strikes because it wasn't part of the bargain.   (Shutterstock)
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I just woke up one day and realized I was fighting for my life alone, and that being part of this couple wasn’t helping me at all. I could devote more effort to the battle without him. Divorce was easy once I accepted that. - Karen Tyler, cancer patient

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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 18 comments
oldgoat
Oct 16, 2009 11:40 AM CDT
Liberal men? Remember a certain GOP leader with the first name of Newt that is now flying hight? Or another with a name of John that ran around on his wife after her accident and then married a wealthy daughter of a Bud dealer that is also a leader in the GOP party.
bewilderbeast
Oct 16, 2009 8:53 AM CDT
Why more women DON'T bail on their crusty ole farts is the mystery to me . . . (and I don't exclude meself!). LOL
bewilderbeast
Oct 16, 2009 8:48 AM CDT
um, timinallystoopid, wasn't McCain one of these REAL MEN, too?
 

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