Physicists: Bird From the Future Damaged Collider
Theory says the universe is sabotaging the big experiment
By Harry Kimball,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 11, 2009 4:50 PM CST
The magnet core of the world's largest superconducting solenoid magnet (CMS, Compact Muon Solenoid) at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN)'s Large Hadron Collider.   (AP Photo)

(Newser) – CERN’s Large Hadron Collider is having a tough time getting on its feet—construction delays, birds, etc.—but now two physicists have a novel theory about why: The experiment is so “abhorrent” to God, or nature, that the universe is conspiring to sabotage it. When scientists get close to revving up their search for the hypothetical Higgs boson, "the future sends ripples backward through time" to foil them, writes Eben Harrell in Time. Thus, the bird that recently dropped a piece of bread on a substation is one such agent of the universe.

For the record, the theory is called "reverse chronological causation." It's based on complex math, but one physicist offers this for laymen: "You could explain it (simply) by saying that God, in inverted commas, or nature, hates the Higgs and tries to avoid them." A friend of the particle’s namesake thinks he’s already got the theory debunked. “If nature truly did not want us to discover the Higgs, a cosmic ray would have zapped the embryo that became Peter, preventing its development into a physicist.”