New Moon So Bad It's Funny

Twilight sequel leaves Potter pre-sale mark in dust

(NEWSER) - It doesn't open until tomorrow, but the latest Twilight movie already is breaking records. Fandango, AMC, and MovieTickets.com all say that fans are scooping up advance tickets to The Twilight Saga: New Moon in unprecedented numbers. Thousands of shows are sold out around the country, leaving pre-sale records held by Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings in the dust, reports Entertainment Weekly . More»

It gets worse: There's a dildo on the list

(NEWSER) - As thousands of fans mobbed last night’s New Moon premiere (some had been waiting since Thursday afternoon, the AP reports), Gawker runs down the 14 craziest pieces of Twilight merchandise:

• Edward Cullen panties
• Edward Cullen sock puppet
• Jacob Black light switch cover
• Vampire sparkle dildo
• Edward Cullen sweatshirt that reads, “Edward can bite my pillows, break my headboard, and bruise my body any day.”

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson star in new 'Twilight '

(NEWSER) - The latest Twilight installment is, predictably, highly popular with fans ; critics are less enthusiastic as Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson continue their vampire romance.

• “Enough with Bella's depressed, ragdoll posture and her eternal gloom,” writes Lisa Schwarzbaum in Entertainment Weekly . “A pox on Breaking Dawn ... for its contented complicity with Stephenie Meyer's ultimately awful message to millions of readers”—a message that life is “all pain” and “no pleasure.”

Better acting won't widen appeal of tween vampire romance

(NEWSER) - The talky third installment in the Twilight saga has better acting and a more coherent plot line than its predecessors, say critics. But while fans of the teen vampire romance series certainly won't leave disappointed, Eclipse doesn't have much to offer the uninitiated.

• "With roughly 20 minutes of its 2-hour running time devoted to characters doing something besides alternately moping and declaring their eternal love for each other, Eclipse stands as the most action-packed entry yet in the Twilight series," writes Genevieve Koski at the AV Club , praising new director David Slade's more dynamic action sequences.

William Hurt, Kristen Stewart make old story work

(NEWSER) - Critics misted up during The Yellow Handkerchief, the tale of an ex-con’s search for his estranged wife, taken from an Pete Hamill story. Here’s what they’re saying:

• “Beautifully acted” and “gorgeously photographed,” The Yellow Hankerchief “tells a timeless fable, and tells it extremely well,” writes Lou Lumenick in the New York Post . A pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart “shows star presence in a very tricky part.”