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5 Painful Stages of Thanksgiving With Family

Brace yourself: It's going to be a rough ride

By Kate Schwartz,  Newser Staff

Posted Nov 26, 2009 3:24 AM CST
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(Newser) – Thanksgiving is about the journey as much as the destination, and by journey, we're referring to that important stuck-in-the-car time when you run down the list of topics that must not be uttered around Grandma. Maxim runs down the five glorious, hilarious-because-they're-true stages of Thanksgiving:

  1. Get to the meal: To do so, fork over $600 to get to a place where you will be chided for your pathetic job and pathetic boyfriend/girlfriend. Bargain!

  1. Make the feast: Mom gets up at 4am to start cooking, which quickly turns her into a crazed person. Meanwhile, someone has to make hot dogs for your spoiled, picky, I-hate-turkey cousin. That person is probably you.
  2. Suffer through conversation: Mom and Dad name every person you've ever dated and ask if they're married. They all are.
  3. Chow down: Someone says "I'm about to burst!" while shoving more pecan-topped sweet potatoes down their throat.
  4. Brace yourself for the aftermath : Your family, which has just eaten 47 pounds of food, marvels at the fact that it's the tryptophan (all .006 milligrams of it) causing the intense fatigue!
For more snarky observations, click here.


You think your nephew is cute? Just wait til you have to cook him hot dogs.
You think your nephew is cute? Just wait til you have to cook him hot dogs.   (©BL1961)
Step 4: Try to make it through dinner.
Step 4: Try to make it through dinner.   (©chadmagiera)
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COMMENTS
Showing 3 of 12 comments
hamsammichs
Nov 26, 2009 11:53 AM CST
It's the principle of the matter.
kokuaguy
Nov 26, 2009 9:57 AM CST
The comment above was pasted from the story about the racist image of the FLOTUS being taken down from the offending website (and Google apparently.) There were only 2 or 3 comments that were really on the topic, out of a couple dozen or so. See you at the Facebook discussions?
kokuaguy
Nov 26, 2009 9:51 AM CST
So -- Face-0f-RNC has now apparently stolen the NEW avatar of Face-Of-RNC as well as assumed a username misleadingly similar. These games are becoming really tiresome. As Shonangreg says, all too often the trolling has completely eliminated any discussion of this story by distracting everyone. I think we may have lost him for that reason and that will be a great loss to this site. There's a place where discussion of the sabotage of the trolls and the tactics of their enemies should occur. Go to the band of "quick links" to topics at the top of the page and click on MORE at the far right, You'll find the link to newser's Facebook discussions there under COMMUNITY. I hope to see you there.

 
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