Nine Is Nowhere Near a 10
But if you like the style and the stars, then just eat the ice cream
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Dec 25, 2009 2:13 PM CST

(Newser) – Critics agree: Nine is no . Some enjoy a star-studded song-and-dance, but most don't like the song part, and they find the stars misused at best. Some opinions:

  • "Step right up, pay $10, and you can see eight superstars, six of whom have won Oscars, singing songs in sparkly costumes." If that sounds good, cautions Dana Stevens of Slate, know that "the songs range from mediocre to actively unlistenable and that few of these actors know how to put over a song."

  • Don't take it so seriously, Peter Howell writes in the Toronto Star. It's a "fractured film about creative and coital conundrums that is best sampled like an array of Italian gelatos. In other words, don't complain about how it all works, just enjoy the yummy bits."
  • For Roger Ebert, "Nine is just plain adrift in its own lack of necessity." Sure, it's "filled wall to wall with stars," he writes for the Chicago Sun-Times, " but that's what they are—stars, because the movie doesn't make them characters."
  • Director Rob Marshall "hits more than he misses," writes Peter Travers of Rolling Stone. But at least he's consistent: "Those who hated his music-video editing in Chicago will hate it here."