Who Will Be the Next Chuck Norris?
The new decade needs a new Chuck-like legend
By Kate Seamons,  Newser Staff
Posted Jan 10, 2010 5:16 AM CST
Dolph Lundgren: "Now we're on the lookout for Lundgren around every corner and that puts his previously-forgotten face" on the list.   (AP Photo/Christof Stache)
camera-icon View 5 more images

(Newser) – Chunk Norris is more than a legend—he's a meme, a man who can kill other men just by looking at them, and a conservative who helped Mike Huckabee lose an election, writes Drew Grant for Urlesque. But it's a new decade, which means it's time for a new Chuck. Some likely candidates:

  • Dolph Lundgren: This Swedish actor's claim to fame now includes more than his Rocky IV role—with recent spots in It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and Family Guy. A "Norris-esque reinvention" must be in the works.

  • Rick Allen: Def Leppard's one-armed drummer can do anything Chuck does better. Example: Rick Allen can sneeze with one eye open...but one-handed!
  • Warren Beatty: If he can have sex with 13,000 women, what can't he do?
  • The Situation: Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is a meme legacy in the making, and basically guaranteed to "go more viral than his Herpes symplex."
  • The Bear Jew: This Inglourious Basterds solider (aka Eli Roth) already has a Tumblr of "facts" about him, notes Grant, many of which are basically respun Chuck Norris facts. ("The Bear Jew invented violence—before the Bear Jew there were only stern looks.")

 

My Take on This Story
Show results without voting  |  
2%
9%
2%
67%
17%
2%