From the brilliant criminals department: Upon arriving at a correctional facility after being arraigned on two outstanding warrants, a Philadelphia woman decided she "just couldn't do this," wrestled free, and ran away. A still-handcuffed Nicole Kelly, 19, managed to shake the authorities who chased her, ducked into the Brown Funeral Home, and hid in a coffin—until the owner found her there.
Around 9pm, Dan Brown noticed a phone line was in use. He picked up the phone and Kelly told him she had the wrong number—but didn't hang up. His wife called police and he went into the showroom, where he found Kelly. She tried to bite him, but Brown managed to keep her on the ground until police arrived. In addition to facing a slew of new charges, Kelly is being asked for restitution in the amount of $365; seems she kicked out the backside of the coffin she was hiding in with her feet, reports the Lewiston Sentinel.