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NEWS ABOUT: jokes

Starbucks Bans Blonde Jokes

Chain launches 'coffee for non-coffee drinkers'

(Newser) - Starbucks launched its new, mellower "Blonde" roast this week, and it doesn't want to hear any baristas sniggering about the name. "We were told at a regional rally there are absolutely no Blonde jokes to be told around the coffee whatsoever. It will be a written offense... More »

Pickup Lines for Al Gore

Sample: "I promise to finish second"

(Newser) - Al Gore is known for a lot of things—losing the presidency, "inventing" the Internet, fighting global warming—but charisma ain't one of them. Thankfully, comedian Andy Borowitz and his Twitter followers want to help the newly-single activist woo the ladies. Here are some of the best pickup... More »

The Worst Pop Music Puns

When humor and music don't harmonize

(Newser) - Hate puns? Consider this stinker from Robbie Williams' latest record: "What's so great about the great depression/Is it a blast for you?/Because it's blas-phe-my." Ouch. Puns are uniformly terrible in pop and rock. NME cobbles together some of the worst pun song titles:
  • Salt N Pepa: "A
... More »

Top Late-Night Jokes About Bristol Palin

(Newser) - The barbs flying between Sarah Palin and David Letterman over which daughter he’s been making fun of (she says it’s 14-year-old Willow, he says it’s 18-year-old Bristol) moved Daniel Kurtzman, on About.com, to go to the videotape. He found none about Willow and enough about Bristol... More »

NOW Backs Palin Against Dave—With a 'But'

(Newser) - Sarah Palin has a new ally in her feud with David Letterman: the National Organization for Women. "The sexualization of girls and women in the media is reaching new lows these days," NOW says on its website, taking particular offense at Letterman's remark about Palin looking like a... More »

Peterson Calls Radio Show to Joke About Prison

(Newser) - That Drew Peterson is quite a card. In prison on charges of murdering his third wife, Peterson called a Chicago radio station this morning to crack jokes about prison life, reports TMZ. Among other things, Peterson told the Mancow & Cassidy show on WLS-AM that they should run a “... More »

Freelance Jokesters Pen Late-Night Laughs

WGA miffed by non-union writers

(Newser) - Late-night hosts don’t get all their gags in-house—scores of wannabe comedy writers bombard the likes of Jay and Dave with their one-liners, the Los Angeles Times reports, then anxiously wait for the show to air "to find out if you got a joke on or not,”... More »

Simon Isn't Planning to Freeze Himself After All

American Idol judge was joking, rep says

(Newser) - Ever the cool cat, Simon Cowell now says he was just kidding recently when he informed Britain’s prime minister he’d like to be frozen after his death, a rep for the American Idol judge tells the Mirror. The 49-year-old reportedly told Gordon Brown “I’d be doing... More »

How to Win the Caption Contest

Don't be too funny, urges Patrick House in Slate

(Newser) - Want to win the New Yorker's cartoon caption contest? The first rule: Don't be too funny. So says recent winner Patrick House, who lays out his can't-miss strategy in Slate. Keep in mind that reading the New Yorker is an introspective pursuit, one of "lonesome withdrawal." Which means... More »

Broken Glass Lands Cheeky Mooner in Hospital

Flashing Dutchman the butt of his own joke

(Newser) - A Dutchman is recovering in a hospital after a mooning backfired, the AP reports. The 21-year-old prankster and two friends were running around the streets of Utrecht with their pants pulled down at the back, police said. The cheeky ringleader pushed his butt up against the glass of a restaurant... More »

Huckabee Jokes About Gun Pointed at Obama

At NRA, ex-hopeful jests about Obama ducking loaded firearm

(Newser) - At an NRA convention today, Mike Huckabee quipped that an offstage sound was Barack Obama leaping from a loaded gun. “That was Barack Obama,” the former Arkansas governor said. “He just tripped off a chair. He's getting ready to speak and somebody aimed a gun at him... More »

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