dumb criminals

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Self-Described Drug Dealer Calls 911, Reports Stolen Drugs

David Blackmon is charged with possession of cocaine

(Newser) - Calling 911 to report a stolen bag of cocaine probably wasn't the best idea for a self-described Florida drug dealer. But Okaloosa Sheriff's officials wrote on Facebook that 32-year-old David Blackmon did just that on Sunday morning. The post says Blackmon called 911 to report a robbery in... More »

'We Went Down All the Slides': Alleged Snapchat Confession

Teens busted for early-morning break-in at SC water park: cops

(Newser) - Two teens in Myrtle Beach, SC, have apparently never heard the phrase "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"—though in this case, Vegas is "the water park." Logan Brooke Larrimore and Farren Marie Lane, both 18, were arrested and charged Wednesday with third-degree burglary after... More »

Theft of GPS Tracking Devices Backfires Spectacularly

Burglar's attempt to steal a beer also went wrong

(Newser) - It's only June, but a crook in California may already have a lock on the Dumbest Criminal of 2017 award. Authorities had little trouble tracking the thief down after he stole 100 GPS trackers along with other items from the Santa Clara offices of tech firm Roambee, NBC4 reports.... More »

NH Cops Aren't Buying This Guy's Pot Excuse

Selket Taylor told police who busted him that he 'only smokes in Mass.'

(Newser) - A New Hampshire police department has issued a public service announcement with an odd mug shot after a man was arrested with marijuana in his car. Hampstead police said in a release Monday, "as a public service announcement—it is illegal to possess recreational marijuana in New Hampshire, even... More »

Judge to Defendant: No, You Can't Juggle at Trial

'The keystone to his defense is: He's literally a clown'

(Newser) - A Massachusetts judge has denied a man's request to juggle during his trial to show jurors he was just clowning around when he allegedly tried to rob a convenience store. "The keystone to his defense is: He's literally a clown," Orlando Melendez wrote of himself in... More »

Man Accidentally Reveals $500M Opium Crop to Cops

'Unbelievable'

(Newser) - Authorities say they visited a North Carolina home this week after receiving a tip about a crime, but the crime they found wasn't the one resident Cody Xiong allegedly divulged. After a tip came into police last week—possibly related to a cockfighting operation, per the Charlotte Observer —... More »

Note to iPhone Thieves: Do Not Answer FaceTime Calls

Deputy called stolen phone, alleged perp answered, got his picture taken

(Newser) - The latest gleeful Facebook post from law enforcement comes to us by way of, why yes, Florida: Specifically, the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, which titled its post , "Smile - Thanks to a Quick Thinking OCSO Deputy - You're Being Facetimed Using a Stolen Phone!" Which brings... More »

Minn. Cops Have Field Day With Accidentally Donated Weed

Check your pockets, folks

(Newser) - A suburban Minneapolis police department has good news for the person who donated dozens of plastic baggies of marijuana along with their kid's old clothes: It's safe and sound and ready to be picked up at the station, reports the AP . The Maplewood Police Department posted a photo... More »

Cops: Cemetery Flowers Were Stolen by Florist

Camera caught NJ woman in the act

(Newser) - A florist caught on camera stealing flowers from a New Jersey cemetery told police she was just trying to "tidy up." Lynda Wingate, a 59-year-old former police dispatcher, was arrested after police investigating months of reports of flowers being stolen at the First Reformed Church Cemetery in Pompton... More »

Cops Investigating Robbery Make a Very Easy Arrest

Suspect in France was stuck in a hole in the window

(Newser) - Arrests can't come any easier than this. French gendarmes called to a robbery found the suspected thief stuck in a hole he'd made with a hammer in a shop window, per AP . The national gendarmerie on Sunday published a photo appearing to show the man half-in and half-out... More »

Cops: Burglar Broke Leg, Left Tracks in Snow

He was arrested after calling 911 for help

(Newser) - A robber in Virginia ruined his own getaway—first by breaking his leg in a jump off a balcony, and then by calling the authorities to help him. Police say 21-year-old Leoul Yosef will be charged with burglary for robbing an Alexandria apartment on Wednesday and then jumping off the... More »

Cops: Man With Sweet Tooth Robs Store 3 Times in 4 Days

In one case, Idris Allen returned the same day he'd robbed it, say police

(Newser) - Perhaps no one ever told him it was unwise to return to the scene of the crime. Again and again. Prosecutors say 38-year-old Idris Allen has admitted to robbing the same 7-Eleven store in Newark, NJ, on three occasions over four days in December. Each time, Allen grabbed candy, brandished... More »

Cops: 'Genius' Drunk Guy Loses Keys, Swipes Forklift

Man 'needed something to drive,' took forklift because he knew 'how to drive one'

(Newser) - Florida Keys authorities say a drunken man from Rhode Island stole a forklift and crashed into a gate in Marathon, telling deputies he lost his car keys and needed something to drive, reports the AP . The Monroe County Sheriff's Office says in a news release that 44-year-old Edward Quinton... More »

Guy Gets A+ for Effort to Conceal His DWI Arrest

Joseph Talbot tried to squelch report by buying up copies of local paper

(Newser) - The owner of a weekly Western New York newspaper says a man bought hundreds of copies in an unsuccessful effort to keep people from reading about his drunken-driving arrest. State police arrested Joseph Talbot on Dec. 29 in Wayne County and charged him with driving while intoxicated, reports the AP... More »

Bank Robber Used His Own Debit Card

Before warning the teller, 'Don't make a mistake'

(Newser) - A man entered a San Diego bank on May 13 and demanded money from a teller, saying, "You're being robbed. Don't make a mistake." He's probably kicking himself over his own gaffe, which helped send him to prison for three years and 10 months as... More »

Cops: Drunk 'Postal Grinch' Busted Opening Packages

For drugs, natch

(Newser) - A Florida man is being accused of being a Christmas Grinch after authorities say he broke into a post office and tried to steal packages, reports the AP . Francis Keller, 56, was arrested by the Boynton Beach Police Department and charged with burglary. Police say they found him inside a... More »

Burglars' Downfall: Not Paying the Getaway Driver

No surprise: stiffed taxi driver called police

(Newser) - Two alleged burglars essentially directed police to their apartment in New Jersey when they failed to pay their taxi driver, authorities say. Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, took a taxi to a home in Deal on Friday, went inside, then emerged with a TV and liquor bottles, police... More »

Cops: Man Stole 300K Pennies From Work

Mechanic left trail of coins behind him

(Newser) - Talk about penny pinching: A Pennsylvania man is accused of stealing about 300,000 pennies from his employer. Police in Taylor, just outside Scranton, have charged 34-year-old Robert Napolitan with burglary and related offenses. He's accused of taking a steel drum filled with $3,000 worth of pennies from... More »

Man Makes Wanted Poster His Facebook Pic, Is Arrested

Made it easy to discover Mack Yearwood had outstanding warrants

(Newser) - Most people hate their mugshots even more than the picture on their driver's license, but a Florida man found a wanted poster with his picture on it pleasing enough to put on Facebook—and it helped cops bust him, the Palm Beach Post reports. Stuart police responded to a... More »

Arson 101: Guy Shows How Not to Light a Fire

Well, that didn't go as planned

(Newser) - Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the guy trying to burn a building down who sets fire to a little more than you intended. Such was the plight of a would-be arsonist intending to burn down a Kentucky barbershop when he accidentally... More »

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