dumb criminals

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This Woman's Alleged Crimes: Keying Cars, Bad Spelling

Shannon Csapilla keyed 'wore' into friend's car in jealous rage: cops

(Newser) - There's no time to consult a dictionary in the midst of a jealous rage, apparently. Police in Connecticut say they charged a 20-year-old woman with criminal mischief on Thursday after she allegedly keyed the cars of her ex and a former friend but misspelled a key word in the... More »

Man Arrested After Posting on Cops' Facebook Page

Cops deliver rhyming comeback

(Newser) - Facebook, the downfall of many a cocky criminal , may have reeled in a new one. Logan Hale of Florida's Polk County was suspected of breaking into a home on Aug. 3 and stealing a shotgun and thousands of dollars' worth of jewelry. Police explained all this in a Friday... More »

Burglary Suspect Butt-Dialed 911 to Tell Them His Plans

Scott Esser really took the magic out of policework

(Newser) - Dialing 911 ought to be a little more difficult: New Jersey authorities say a man planning a burglary inadvertently dialed 911—which prosecutors note, via NJ.com , is "commonly referred to as a 'butt dial'"—allowing dispatchers to listen in on his conversation. Somerset County prosecutors... More »

Drone Drops Drugs at Prison, Inmate Fight Ensues

What did you think would happen?

(Newser) - A drone dropped a package of drugs into an Ohio prison yard while inmates were outside, sparking a fight. The package was dropped last week at the Mansfield Correctional Institution, about 65 miles southwest of Cleveland. It contained almost a quarter of an ounce of heroin, over 2 ounces of... More »

Cops Nab 2 DUIs in 1 Traffic Stop

Speeding, drugs, and idiocy are a potent combination

(Newser) - One traffic stop netted two drunk-driving arrests in Vermont after police say a backseat passenger jumped in the driver's seat. State police say they stopped a car early today on Interstate 91 in Rockingham after it was clocked doing 106mph. Authorities say they got driver Erik Polite out of... More »

Guy Fleeing Cops on Scooter Does Not Get Away

Because they're not very fast, you see

(Newser) - A suspected drug dealer tried to evade authorities in Nevada while riding a scooter. The Nevada Appeal reports that Joseph Scurti is facing charges including suspicion of a parole and probation warrant and probation violation. Obstruction charges are pending. The slow-speed pursuit began Friday when Carson City deputies tried to... More »

Burglar Accidentally Records Selfie Video

Police would like a word

(Newser) - He's not caught yet, but a burglar in Venice, California, could soon join the annals of criminals done in by technology . Police say the man entered a home while the occupants were sleeping, picked up an iPhone, and triggered an app that recorded a selfie video, reports CBS Los... More »

Guy Steals Car He Can't Drive, Calls Taxi

Stick shift foiled Utah teen

(Newser) - Maybe he should have stolen some driving lessons first? Police in Providence, Utah, say that after 19-year-old Alexander Katz and his girlfriend allegedly stole a car on Tuesday, they ended up ditching it and calling a taxi because he didn't know how to drive a stick shift, KSL reports.... More »

Guy Drives Himself to Cop Shop, Asks for DUI

Officers are happy enough to oblige

(Newser) - Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him. The Kentucky New Era reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove Tuesday night to the station in Hopkinsville, near the Tennessee border, entered the "do not... More »

T-Shirt Irony Isn't Shooting Suspect's Strong Suit

If it had been, Tieren Watson probably wouldn't have worn this Nike getup

(Newser) - A 26-year-old Alabama man joins this guy in the "Attire That Crime Suspects Should Avoid" category after police arrested him Tuesday for alleged involvement in a shooting over the weekend in Benton, per the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette . Cops tracked Tieren Watson down at a local chain hotel, and his T-shirt... More »

Woman Makes Ill-Advised 911 Call, Gets Arrested

Telling the cops about your drug deal gone wrong: not a good idea

(Newser) - Authorities say a South Florida woman who called 911 to report that she was getting stiffed in a drug deal ended up reporting on herself: She now faces charges including drug possession. The Broward Sheriff's Office reports that 19-year-old Daneshia Heller told a 911 operator Tuesday that she went... More »

Cops: Would-Be Burglar Baked Potato, Raked Leaves

Criminal mastermind was hungry, unexpectedly helpful

(Newser) - A New Mexico man is facing charges after police say he walked into an unlocked home, stole car keys, and stunned a resident who found him baking a potato and raking leaves. Patrick Lynn Waits, 45, was arrested early Tuesday following a bizarre chain of events that confused residents of... More »

19-Year-Old Drunk Set Up Own DUI Checkpoint: Cops

Told driver he 'should have read about it in the newspaper'

(Newser) - Apparently for Logan Shaulis, it's not a party until you're demanding to see license and registration from passing drivers. Police say the 19-year-old Pennsylvanian set up his own DUI checkpoint early Saturday, complete with flares, a BB gun, handcuffs, and a portable scanner, reports the Tribune-Democrat . The slight... More »

Cops Follow Easy Trail to Suspect's Home

It came from grease of stolen deep fryer

(Newser) - It didn't take Columbo: Police investigating a home burglary in Oklahoma were able to follow the grease trail left by a stolen deep fryer straight to a suspect's home, reports WTHR . Cops in Chickasha say two men stole about $4,000 worth of goods from a neighbor, including... More »

Things You Don't Instagram: Your Bank Robbery

But suspect Dominyk Alfonseca says it wasn't a crime, merely a request of the teller

(Newser) - "I decided to go to the bank. She gave me money, and I left," Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca tells WAVY from his perch in jail. “I videotaped it. If it was a robbery, I don’t think I would videotape it, post the picture of the letter and... More »

Cops Laugh About Stoner's To-Do List on Twitter

No. 7: 'Go to bus stop'

(Newser) - Police officers are people, too. And like us, they share their hilarious finds on Twitter. Take this example: Police in Murdoch, Western Australia, were executing a search warrant on a house in Perth, relating to a burglary investigation, when they uncovered a rather amusing to-do list, News.com.au reports.... More »

Guy Makes Poor Choice in Liking a Facebook Post

Levi Charles Reardon was wanted. LIKE.

(Newser) - Pro tip for (alleged) criminals: If you see your photograph featured as a "most wanted" suspect on your local Crime Stoppers' Facebook page, maybe don't "like" the post. Alas, Montana 23-year-old Levi Charles Reardon did not heed that advice, and now an arrest that might otherwise have... More »

Dude Desperate to Make Court Swiped Pal's Car: Cops

After saying repeatedly he didn't have a ride

(Newser) - A New Jersey man has been accused of stealing a friend's car to avoid missing a court hearing on drug charges. Twenty-one-year-old Jorge Ramirez-Sierra of Riverdale has been charged with unlawful taking of a means of conveyance and driving while suspended, among other counts. Police tell NJ.com the... More »

Cops: Drunk Guy Crashed Truck, Swiped Forklift

To free his crashed truck

(Newser) - Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the dude with a really good buzz driving a pilfered forklift three miles to fetch the truck you crashed and managed to leave dangling on a giant pipe in Alaska. Police in Fairbanks say the latter... More »

Man Hiding From Cops Foiled by Own Snapchat Post

He reveals location, quickly gets arrested

(Newser) - Someday, maybe, there will be a story about a fugitive taunting the police via social media that ends differently, but until then ... meet Christopher Wallace. As police were searching for him inside his home in Fairfield, Maine, the 24-year-old burglary suspect posted a message to Snapchat boasting that he was... More »

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