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NEWS ABOUT: dumb criminals

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Teen Burglar Leaves Homework at Crime Scene

Police arrest 18-year-old in connection with break-in

(Newser) - Pro tip for the world's burglars: Try to avoid leaving incriminating evidence, like fingerprints, DNA, or a backpack containing your schoolwork at the scene. Utah police responding to a burglary this weekend found a backpack left behind in the targeted home's backyard, the AP reports. Inside was a... More »

Guy Finds Stolen Bike on Craigslist, Steals It Back

Danny Lesh fools thief after finding Craigslist ad

(Newser) - When Danny Lesh found his stolen bike listed for sale on Craigslist and police couldn’t help him right away, he decided to take matters into his own hands. The $600 Cannondale hybrid, which had a prominent identifying sticker on it, was listed for sale for $100 and Lesh arranged... More »

Guy Used Stolen Bobcat to Steal 2 Deodorant Cans

Chicago man also accused of stealing gift cards

(Newser) - A Chicago man allegedly took quite a few pains to break into a dollar store and steal deodorant: Police say the suspect first stole a Bobcat loader from a construction site a block away, then used it to break the windows at West Side Family Dollar. In addition to the... More »

Thieves Swipe Truckload of Corona

1,800 cases make for one big Cinco de Mayo party

(AP) - Somebody is a few thousand limes away from one big party. Police in central Pennsylvania are searching for a missing beer trailer loaded with about 1,800 cases of Corona. Carlisle police say the trailer was stolen from a distributor sometime between Friday and yesterday. Perhaps not coincidentally, Saturday marked... More »

For Real: Woman Bites Dog

Also bit her mom: police

(Newser) - Good thing she's not running for president . An Illinois woman came home drunk and chomped on her family's English bulldog, police say. Analise Garner, 19, also allegedly smacked, scratched, and bit her mother. She's been charged with domestic battery, animal cruelty, and underage drinking, the Chicago Tribune... More »

Guys Break Into Sea World, Steal Penguin

Then release it in shark-infested waters

(Newser) - Usually, we mock criminals when they brag about their crimes on Facebook . But if your crime was breaking into a Sea World, swimming with the dolphins, and making off with a 7-year-old fairy penguin, we understand the urge to share. Three Queensland, Australia men, aged 18, 20, and 21, have... More »

Man Steals Cops' Gas, Posts Photo on Facebook

Kentucky man Michael Baker busted after sharing photo

(Newser) - How to go jail in two easy steps: 1. Siphon gas from a police car. 2. Post a photo of yourself siphoning gas from a police car on Facebook. Kentucky man Michael Baker, 20, was arrested and charged with theft after cops got wind of the photo he had shared,... More »

Teller to Bank Robber: We're Closed, Come Back

Improbable fib thwarts robbery

(Newser) - Hate the short hours at your local bank? Think how Olga L. Perdomo feels. Last week, she tried to rob Albany Bank and Trust in Chicago, but was thwarted when a wily teller told her the bank was closed, and to come back tomorrow. The full story: Perdomo walked into... More »

Pair Sentenced for Taking Dead Pal on Bar Crawl

Denver pair used corpse's credit card in strip club

(Newser) - Denver's Weekend at Bernie's duo are going to be spending a lot of weekends doing community service for taking a dead friend on a night out —and letting him pick up the tab. Robert Young and Mark Rubinson put their pal, 43, in the back of a... More »

Burglars Steal Rare Coins Then Make Very Dumb Move

... which gets them $450 for collection worth thousands

(Newser) - A group of burglars stole a coin collection worth thousands and proceeded to pour it into a coin-counting machine, resulting in a $450 payoff. Authorities say one of the thieves—who also stole jewelry and tools—was the Oregon victim's son. "The crooks were idiots, just simply an... More »

Clerk KOs Armed Burglar

Instead of money, he gets a knockout punch

(Newser) - It looked like the thief's lucky day: A shop clerk in North Carolina who was usually armed didn't have his gun on him. But when an armed robber threatened him, the clerk dealt the intruder a knockout punch—and the whole thing was caught on security cameras, WYFF4... More »

Man Robs Store on 'Shop With a Cop' Night

It didn't go well for David Sherman, 49

(Newser) - We don’t want to imply that there’s a right time to shoplift, but there’s definitely a wrong one, and that wrong one is on "Shop With a Cop" night. David Sherman, 49, tried to make off with a $79 DVD player from a Nebraska Walmart on... More »

Man Asks Cop: 'Can I Have My Weed Back?'

Guess it didn't belong to a friend

(Newser) - A Pennsylvania man has become a case study in what not to say to cops. Devonte Davon Jeter was arrested for marijuana possession in May, and in a preliminary hearing yesterday, his lawyer made the case that the pot could have belonged to someone else in his car, the Beaver ... More »

Cops: Man Robs Expert in Ultimate Fighting ...

... or tries to, and earns epic mugshot

(Newser) - Reason not to mug someone trained in mixed martial arts and Ultimate Fighting: Anthony Miranda's police mugshot. Chicago police say Miranda, 24, pulled a gun on a man sitting in a car, then demanded that the man get out. That's when the "victim," identified only as... More »

Bank Robber Foiled by ... Lousy Handwriting

Man channels Woody Allen, writes note that teller can't read

(Newser) - A would-be bank robber in Wheeling, West Virginia, needs to put Woody Allen's Take the Money and Run in his Netflix queue. Police say a man passed a note to a teller, but she couldn't decipher it and thought it was a joke, reports WTOV . "It took... More »

Roomies Foil Beer-Seeking Burglar

Fight breaks out in Chicago apartment

(Newser) - A burglar broke into a Chicago apartment looking for some beer; instead, he got a kick in the groin and criminal charges for his trouble. Early Saturday, Timothy Snyder, 36, allegedly banged on an apartment door, burst in, and went straight for the refrigerator, the Chicago Tribune reports. He hadn’... More »

Michael Lohan Arrested Again

Hours after being released ... and jumping off a balcony ... into a tree

(Newser) - Michael Lohan couldn’t even go a full day as a free man: Just hours after he was released from a Tampa jail, he was arrested again. Lohan had been jailed on domestic violence charges related to his girlfriend (yes, the AP still refers to her as his girlfriend) Kate... More »

Another Drunk Dad Has 9-Year-Old Drive: Cops

Parents: If your kid can count his age on his hands, he's not a designated driver

(Newser) - A few weeks ago, a boozed-up father had his daughter climb on a booster seat and take him shopping ; now childhood designated-driving is turning into a quasi-epidemic. A Wyoming man visiting Orlando felt he and his wife had had a few too many on Saturday, so he instructed his son,... More »

Beer Heist Goes Terribly Wrong

Three teens face charges after bungled robbery: Cops

(Newser) - An epic fail in the beer heist department, according to cops in Los Angeles County. They say two 19-year-olds went into a market and fled with a 30-pack of Tecate. Employees chased them and caught one, reports the Los Angeles Times . The other jumped into a waiting car driven by... More »

Guys Take Dead Buddy for Night Out

Denver men paint the town red with corpse in back seat

(Newser) - A Denver man wasn’t going to let a dead roommate ruin his night. When Robert Young, 43, arrived home to find his roommate unresponsive last month, he called on a still-living friend—and the two of them hauled Jeffrey Jarrett’s body into the backseat of a car, police... More »

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