dumb criminals

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Guy Steals Car He Can't Drive, Calls Taxi

Stick shift foiled Utah teen

(Newser) - Maybe he should have stolen some driving lessons first? Police in Providence, Utah, say that after 19-year-old Alexander Katz and his girlfriend allegedly stole a car on Tuesday, they ended up ditching it and calling a taxi because he didn't know how to drive a stick shift, KSL reports.... More »

Guy Drives Himself to Cop Shop, Asks for DUI

Officers are happy enough to oblige

(Newser) - Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him. The Kentucky New Era reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove Tuesday night to the station in Hopkinsville, near the Tennessee border, entered the "do not... More »

T-Shirt Irony Isn't Shooting Suspect's Strong Suit

If it had been, Tieren Watson probably wouldn't have worn this Nike getup

(Newser) - A 26-year-old Alabama man joins this guy in the "Attire That Crime Suspects Should Avoid" category after police arrested him Tuesday for alleged involvement in a shooting over the weekend in Benton, per the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette . Cops tracked Tieren Watson down at a local chain hotel, and his T-shirt... More »

Woman Makes Ill-Advised 911 Call, Gets Arrested

Telling the cops about your drug deal gone wrong: not a good idea

(Newser) - Authorities say a South Florida woman who called 911 to report that she was getting stiffed in a drug deal ended up reporting on herself: She now faces charges including drug possession. The Broward Sheriff's Office reports that 19-year-old Daneshia Heller told a 911 operator Tuesday that she went... More »

Cops: Would-Be Burglar Baked Potato, Raked Leaves

Criminal mastermind was hungry, unexpectedly helpful

(Newser) - A New Mexico man is facing charges after police say he walked into an unlocked home, stole car keys, and stunned a resident who found him baking a potato and raking leaves. Patrick Lynn Waits, 45, was arrested early Tuesday following a bizarre chain of events that confused residents of... More »

19-Year-Old Drunk Set Up Own DUI Checkpoint: Cops

Told driver he 'should have read about it in the newspaper'

(Newser) - Apparently for Logan Shaulis, it's not a party until you're demanding to see license and registration from passing drivers. Police say the 19-year-old Pennsylvanian set up his own DUI checkpoint early Saturday, complete with flares, a BB gun, handcuffs, and a portable scanner, reports the Tribune-Democrat . The slight... More »

Cops Follow Easy Trail to Suspect's Home

It came from grease of stolen deep fryer

(Newser) - It didn't take Columbo: Police investigating a home burglary in Oklahoma were able to follow the grease trail left by a stolen deep fryer straight to a suspect's home, reports WTHR . Cops in Chickasha say two men stole about $4,000 worth of goods from a neighbor, including... More »

Things You Don't Instagram: Your Bank Robbery

But suspect Dominyk Alfonseca says it wasn't a crime, merely a request of the teller

(Newser) - "I decided to go to the bank. She gave me money, and I left," Dominyk Antonio Alfonseca tells WAVY from his perch in jail. “I videotaped it. If it was a robbery, I don’t think I would videotape it, post the picture of the letter and... More »

Cops Laugh About Stoner's To-Do List on Twitter

No. 7: 'Go to bus stop'

(Newser) - Police officers are people, too. And like us, they share their hilarious finds on Twitter. Take this example: Police in Murdoch, Western Australia, were executing a search warrant on a house in Perth, relating to a burglary investigation, when they uncovered a rather amusing to-do list, News.com.au reports.... More »

Guy Makes Poor Choice in Liking a Facebook Post

Levi Charles Reardon was wanted. LIKE.

(Newser) - Pro tip for (alleged) criminals: If you see your photograph featured as a "most wanted" suspect on your local Crime Stoppers' Facebook page, maybe don't "like" the post. Alas, Montana 23-year-old Levi Charles Reardon did not heed that advice, and now an arrest that might otherwise have... More »

Dude Desperate to Make Court Swiped Pal's Car: Cops

After saying repeatedly he didn't have a ride

(Newser) - A New Jersey man has been accused of stealing a friend's car to avoid missing a court hearing on drug charges. Twenty-one-year-old Jorge Ramirez-Sierra of Riverdale has been charged with unlawful taking of a means of conveyance and driving while suspended, among other counts. Police tell NJ.com the... More »

Cops: Drunk Guy Crashed Truck, Swiped Forklift

To free his crashed truck

(Newser) - Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the dude with a really good buzz driving a pilfered forklift three miles to fetch the truck you crashed and managed to leave dangling on a giant pipe in Alaska. Police in Fairbanks say the latter... More »

Man Hiding From Cops Foiled by Own Snapchat Post

He reveals location, quickly gets arrested

(Newser) - Someday, maybe, there will be a story about a fugitive taunting the police via social media that ends differently, but until then ... meet Christopher Wallace. As police were searching for him inside his home in Fairfield, Maine, the 24-year-old burglary suspect posted a message to Snapchat boasting that he was... More »

Cops: Criminal Mastermind's Disguise 'Ineffective'

Police somehow saw through Jose Espinoza's attempt at hiding

(Newser) - Pro tip: When the law is after you and you'd like to alter your appearance so as to avoid speaking with the aforementioned law, maybe try a fat suit or dyeing your hair. Probably what you don't want to do is spraypaint your face black, which is what... More »

Cops: Teens Mistook Man's Ashes for Cocaine

Alleged burglars threw them out after tasting

(Newser) - Three teens in St. Peters, Missouri, are accused of breaking into a home and stealing everything from cash to jewelry. One reason this police item is making headlines, however, is because police say the trio also stole what they thought was a box of cocaine, reports the Smoking Gun . Except,... More »

Guy Busted With Container Labeled 'Not Weed'

The container turned out to be mislabeled

(Newser) - He put his weed in there: The crack law enforcement in Lincoln, Neb., were apparently unfooled by a 21-year-old man's sour cream container labeled "Not Weed." As the Lincoln Journal-Star reports, the unnamed man was pulled over about 9pm on Saturday on suspicion of drunken driving. During... More »

Would-Be Car Thief Knocks Himself Out

Concrete block bounces off window, hits him

(Newser) - Three strikes and you're out, literally in this case. CCTV footage in County Louth, Ireland, shows a would-be car thief hurling a piece of concrete at a car window, only to have it bounce back, hit him in the head, and knock him out cold, reports the Irish Examiner ... More »

Partygoers Busted After One Butt-Dials 911

Whoops

(Newser) - Today's entry in the annals of " When Butt-Dials Go Wrong ": A Wisconsin teen's cellphone dialed 911 accidentally, and when police responded at 3:49am yesterday, they found an "underage drinking party" going on at a house in Rothschild, the Wausau Daily Herald reports. Five women... More »

Cops: Guy Attempted an Icy DUI Coverup

Bryan Byers and pal charged after cops say they tried to create black ice

(Newser) - New Jersey police say a man poured water on a freezing road to try to fool officers into thinking the cause of his drunken car crash was black ice. Twenty-year-old Bryan Byers, of Sparta, was arrested Saturday and charged with drunken driving and other offenses. Authorities say he hit a... More »

Another Misguided Selfie, Another Suspect in Custody

The latest comes from Pennsylvania, again

(Newser) - The latest entry in that ever-growing category of criminal suspects tripped up by their own selfies : Police in Ambridge, Pa., were searching for 22-year-old Donald Harrison on assault charges, but without much luck. That changed when Harrison posted images of himself on Facebook aboard a Greyhound bus, with captions helpfully... More »

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