Sandusky 'Can't Even Lie Emphatically'

For a defensive coordinator, his defense sucks
By Kevin Spak,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 16, 2011 9:04 AM CST

(Newser) – Were you blown away by Jerry Sandusky’s excruciatingly awkward phone interview with Bob Costas? So was Jon Stewart. “I’m no lawyer,” he said on the Daily Show last night, “but it seems to me that when you’re accused of one of the most heinous crimes imaginable, you may not want to literally phone in your defense." After Sandusky tellingly repeated Costas' question about being sexually attracted to young boys, Stewart blasted him: "You can't even bring yourself to lie emphatically!" He was especially flabbergasted by Sandusky’s description of his now-infamous shower rape allegation as “horseplay.”

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“Horseplay? Are you [bleeping] kidding us?!” Stewart cried. “Horseplay is wrestling your friend out of a pillow fort, throwing your nephew into the pool, various other things that would be never mistaken for rape.” Stewart also marveled at Sandusky’s lawyer’s colorful past—“What kind of creepy guy club do you both belong to?” he asked. “Sandusky, you’re a defensive coordinator. You should have been able to coordinate a better defense." He suggests the “prevent-me” defense: “When the ball snaps, pull all your [beep]ing linemen and send everybody to prevent you from moving fifty yards within a kid." (Read more Jerry Sandusky stories.)

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