The first thing Barack Obama likely does upon waking is pinch himself and ask, "Am I still dreaming, or is the 2012 Republican field really this lame?" writes Laura Washington in a cheeky column for the Chicago Sun-Times. Much-touted would-be competitors are "dropping like tulips in Chicago’s frigid spring," much to the disappointment of comedy writers, no doubt. Trump may have dropped from contention so he could keep raking in tens of millions from NBC. "Or, my bet: He didn’t want to reveal the secret behind The Hair."
We’ve had no word from Palin—has “Sarah Barracuda” softened to “Sarah SpongeBob”? As for Huckabee, he, like Trump, may be "heeding the call of ka-ching." That leaves Romney at the forefront: More good news for the president, since “the wooden Romney is sorely lacking in the charisma department.” As proof, Washington reminds us that Mitt is his middle name. His first? Willard.