Turns out the Penn State sex abuse scandal isn't just shocking people across America—the Devil himself is pretty horrified by this one, notes Mediaite. Lucifer took time out of his busy schedule to appear on Saturday Night Live last night to comment on the scandal. And once he was informed it wasn't just a recruiting scandal ("I just assumed...," he said), Satan was pretty disgusted. "Shut up! No!" he cried. "Well, yeah, of course I'm upset. I'm the Prince of Darkness, but I'm not a monster."
"Joe Pa, a cover up?" he continued. "This is college football, not the Catholic Church!" As Seth Meyers spilled more details, the Devil grew increasingly upset. "Are you kidding me? What in my hometown are you talking about?!," said Satan. "I'm out, I quit. Evil isn't what it used to be." Click through the gallery for more highlights from the show, including host Emma Stone's Spidey-riffic monologue.