Phyllis Diller One-Liners
"I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'"
By Newser Editors and Wire Services
Posted Aug 21, 2012 3:55 PM CDT
Phyllis Diller in 1966.   ((AP Photo/File))

(Newser) – A selection of comic lines from Phyllis Diller, who died yesterday at age 95:

  • "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo."
  • "When I told Fang I was going to have my face lifted, he said, `Who'd steal it?'
  • "I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?' "
  • "You know you're old when your walker has an airbag."
  • "I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody."
  • "I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions."
  • "Think of me as a sex symbol for men who just don't give a damn."
  • "They say housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"

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Showing 3 of 13 comments
Aug 23, 2012 12:18 PM CDT
Rush Limbaugh lives and Phyllis is Gone ..There is No God
Aug 21, 2012 11:41 PM CDT
I never found self-disrespecting humor funny. I always found it more than a little sad. I think because I hear the person crying inside while everyone laughs at them. It's that 50's humor that always escaped me. Maybe because it was humor at the expense of someone.
Aug 21, 2012 8:25 PM CDT
Phyllis Diller was the "Rodney DangerField" of Comediennes Rodney said when he was born the doctor slapped his mother- ha