Phyllis Diller One-Liners

"I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'"

By Newser Editors and Wire Services

Posted Aug 21, 2012 3:55 PM CDT

(Newser) – A selection of comic lines from Phyllis Diller, who died yesterday at age 95:

  • "I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo."
  • "When I told Fang I was going to have my face lifted, he said, `Who'd steal it?'
  • "I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?' "
  • "You know you're old when your walker has an airbag."
  • "I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody."
  • "I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions."
  • "Think of me as a sex symbol for men who just don't give a damn."
  • "They say housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"

Phyllis Diller in 1966.
Phyllis Diller in 1966.   ((AP Photo/File))
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