5 Craziest Crimes of the Week Ambulances are not serve-yourself taxis By Newser Editors, Newser Staff Posted Aug 15, 2013 6:35 PM CDT Updated Aug 16, 2013 12:38 PM CDT 6 comments Comments (Shutterstock) (Newser) – Drugs, alcohol, and ... quiche? Just some of themes running through this week's craziest crime stories: Guy Steals Ambulance to Get Home, Say Cops: Here's how you take your arrest on an open container charge and snowball it into something much, much worse. Surgeon Allegedly Steals Heroin From Drug Mule's Stomach: Police in Siberia say a doctor who removed drugs from a smuggler's stomach kept a little something for himself. 392 Pot Plants Found at Heidi Fleiss' Home: From Hollywood madam to Nevada pot baron? Police found 392 marijuana plants at Heidi Fleiss' home in Pahrump. She faces multiple drug-related charges, but she managed to escape arrest thanks to ... her many exotic birds. Police in 5-Hour Standoff With ... Quiche Thieves: A pair of hungry thieves faced off against police for five hours after reportedly breaking into a UK cafe for a bite of quiche. Things didn't end so well for them. Cops: Drunk Cowboy Rides Horse Into Bar: A "highly intoxicated" Louisiana cowboy brought home the top prize in his own personal rodeo: Charges of battery, public intimidation, and disturbing the peace. And yes, he did lasso a "male victim." Click for more weird crimes.