Among this week's crop of ill-advised criminals: A burglar who got stuck on the way to his would-be loot and a trio of alleged drunk drivers caught behind the wheel ... of the same car:
- Cops: Arby's Burglar Gets Stuck: It probably seemed like the perfect plan on paper: Climb up on the roof of the local Arby's after it closed for the night, zip inside through the ventilation shaft, and then plunder the store's vast riches. Except police say a would-be burglar in South Carolina ended up stuck in that ventilation shaft for about 10 hours—shouting for help.
- 3 Men Charged with Driving Drunk in Same Car: Police in New South Wales, Australia, stopped a car at a DUI checkpoint, gave the driver a breathalyzer, and promptly hauled him off to jail on drunk-driving charges. Routine stuff, until his two buddies got involved.
- Pat Boone Is a Wanted Man: Singer, Tea Party activist, and birther Pat Boone can add one more title to his long list: wanted man. There's a warrant out for the 79-year-old after he was subpoenaed to appear in court and failed to show up. It all relates, bizarrely, to a luxury cruise ship's condos. Best line from Boone about the whole thing: "Is this the way Lindsay Lohan and Robert Downey got so famous?"
- Woman Pulls Really Unwise April Fool's 'Prank': Police in Spartanburg, Va., aren't laughing off a woman's April Fool's "joke" about a shooting in the college where she worked. Police say 54-year-old Angela Timmons sent her daughter a text message to say she was hiding in a bathroom at Virginia College after hearing shots fired; after not getting a response to her follow-up text, the daughter did what most reasonable people would do: called 911.
- Cops: Mom, Son Stole $10K in ... Chainsaws: Theirs was a family enterprise of the wrong kind. Police say a mother and son stole $10,000 worth of chainsaws from stores in Michigan and then tried to sell them on Craigslist in Chicago. Gaci Juric, 57, and Ali Ivanov, 35, now face charges of racketeering and retail fraud and face up to 20 years in prison.
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