Man Tries to Marry Porn-Filled Laptop
Judge rejects bizarre motion in same-sex marriage case
By Rob Quinn, Newser Staff
Posted May 6, 2014 2:02 AM CDT
This will not be the future Mrs, Sevier.   (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

(Newser) – A Florida judge has tossed out a bizarre motion from a man who claimed he wanted to marry his "porn filled Apple computer." Chris Sevier attempted to intervene in a same-sex marriage case "on behalf of other minority sexual orientation groups," reports the Broward-Palm Beach New Times, which notes that the filing is "obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn't agree with gay marriage." Sevier claimed that after buying a laptop without porn filters, he became addicted to pornography, "fell in love" with his computer, and preferred "having sex with it over all other persons or things." If gay people "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts," he said, "then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."

Sevier "has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer," the judge wrote in a ruling dismissing the motion. "Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit." Sevier—who was banned from practicing law in Tennessee in 2011 due to "mental infirmity or illness"—has a history of weird lawsuits, Gawker notes. He sued Apple for selling him the computer he now wants to marry, tried to sue A&E for suspending Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson, and is currently trying to intervene in Utah's gay-marriage debate on behalf of those who "prefer sex with inanimate objects and animals."

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Showing 3 of 36 comments
trailmix
May 6, 2014 6:54 PM CDT
Don't forget the pre-nup
EverythingYouLove
May 6, 2014 5:03 PM CDT
What a brilliant way to prove the point that no human in their right mind would ever f*ck you. Conservative logic sure is a hoot.
mo
May 6, 2014 3:36 PM CDT
Would he be jailed for adultery if he touched another computer while he was married to it? Would he have to get a divorce before he bought another computer?