EPA to Workers: Stop Pooping in the Hall

Agency hires consultant after phantom pooper strikes

By Rob Quinn,  Newser Staff

Posted Jun 26, 2014 4:21 AM CDT

(Newser) – The Environmental Protection Agency has a pretty basic tip for EPA employees who want to protect the environment they work in: Stop pooping in the hallway. The agency's Denver branch found it necessary to tell workers to cease "inappropriate bathroom behavior," citing incidents including toilets clogged with paper towels and "an individual placing feces in the hallway," according to an email obtained by GovernmentExecutive.com. "Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals," a regional administrator wrote.

Almost as strange as the hallway-pooping is the fact that the EPA decided to hire a national expert in workplace violence, who concluded that hallway feces was indeed a health and safety risk, and the behavior was "very dangerous," notes Tina Nguyen at Mediaite. "Why such a distinguished mind was consulted by the EPA to reach the conclusion that leaving feces in hallways is bad, we'll never know," she writes. An EPA spokesman says that while the agency can't comment on ongoing personnel matters, its "actions in response to recent workplace issues have been deliberate and have focused on ensuring a safe work environment for our employees."

This isn't hallway furniture, EPA workers.
This isn't hallway furniture, EPA workers.   (AP GRAPHIC)
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