Lessons in how not to make a good first impression in your new job and in how not to act in a cemetery highlight the week's list:
- Teacher Shows Up Drunk on First Day—Without Pants: As far as back-to-school outfits go, Lorie Ann Hill's was an ill-advised one. Oklahoma police say the Wagoner Public Schools teacher allegedly showed up to the job on Monday drunk—and then removed her pants.
- Man Arrested for Acting Like a Ghost: A 24-year-old man in Britain thought it would be funny to act like a ghost in a cemetery, which is to say "he was throwing himself backwards, waving his arms about, and going 'wooooooo,'" says a prosecutor. Police, however, weren't amused. He pleaded guilty to "behavior likely to cause distress" and got fined $125.
- Woman Poses for Clerk Holding Stolen Credit Card: A picture is worth a thousand words—and sometimes a possible jail sentence. Police in Ocala, Fla., are searching for a woman who used a stolen American Express credit card after a suspicious store clerk snapped a photo of her posing with it. Weirdly, the woman seemed to think it was a great idea.
- Cops: Hungry Burglar Cooked Crabcakes: Going to a restaurant for crabcakes and a few drinks isn't exactly unusual behavior in the mid-Atlantic states, but most people do it when the place is open. Not this guy, according to police.
- Woman in Trouble for Slapping Police Horse: A woman in Scottsdale, Ariz., faces felony charges after police say she loudly smacked one of the department's horses on the butt outside a nightclub. She insists she was just petting, but police say the horse didn't think so.
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