A Bacon Arsonist? 5 Craziest Crimes of Week
Including a botched car theft
By Newser Editors,  Newser Staff
Posted Nov 21, 2014 5:03 AM CST
Updated Nov 21, 2014 10:00 AM CST
Stock image   (Shutterstock)

(Newser) – A pup that peed all over a women's clothing store and an apparently temperamental math teacher are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

  • Pop Quiz Goes Awry When Teacher Pulls Knife: A New Mexico middle school teacher doesn't seem to like it when kids in his classroom talk during tests. Students say Benjamin Nagurski was especially aggravated by one particular student who was chatting during a math quiz and that their teacher pointed a knife at them to deal with the situation. Police aren't exactly buying Nagurski's explanation.
  • Bandit With Unusual MO on the Loose in California: A "nervous" man wearing a baseball cap is being sought in connection with two Orange County bank robberies in which he allegedly gave a menacing note to tellers that said, "Keep your hands away from the alarm or I'll shoot." That doesn't exactly jibe with the cheerful-sounding instructions the FBI says he verbally gave the tellers.

  • Woman Tried to Burn Down Ex's House—With Bacon: A Utah woman angry at her ex-boyfriend admitted to police that she put a pound of bacon on a cookie sheet on top of his gas stove back in March, turned the burner on "high," and left it there, allegedly in an attempt to burn the house down. That her BAC reportedly classified her as very "impaired" probably doesn't surprise anyone—but her last name might.
  • Men Try to Steal Car With Detective in It, Police Say: Car thieving pro tip: First, make sure frost isn't coating the windows so you're unable to see if anyone's sitting inside it. Second, make sure if there is someone sitting inside it that he's not a city detective. Third, when you're trying to flee from that detective, don't crash into a building. And so it goes in Fort Worth, Texas.
  • Woman's Dog Reportedly Peed All Over Lane Bryant: Fourteen dresses and 11 pairs of pants are now off the shelves (we're assuming) at a Lane Bryant in Toms River, NJ, after a woman entered the store on Monday and reportedly allowed her dog to freely answer nature's call wherever it saw fit. She allegedly became "belligerent" and fled when police showed up; she's still being sought for the urinating incident. Her pee-filled pooch apparently caused quite a bit of monetary damage.
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