Bad Fashion Choices: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week Including an epic teen bash and a wardrobe malfunction (of sorts) By Newser Editors, Newser Staff Posted Jan 9, 2015 5:30 AM CST Updated Jan 9, 2015 11:00 AM CST 1 comment Comments Not a great clothing choice. (Pasco County Sheriff's Office) (Newser) – Lessons about what not to wear and what not to say are featured in the weirdest crime stories of the week: Mom, Dad Spot Sons in Burglary Video: You know that heart-warming moment when you unexpectedly spot your kids on the evening news and they're ... apparently stealing electronics on a store's surveillance video of a burglary, not staying at an older sibling's house like they'd told you? Such was the experience of a couple in Fayetteville, NC. Guy Busted for Drugs Makes Terrible Clothing Choice: The first rule about drugs is you never wear a shirt saying you have drugs. The second rule about drugs ... well, John Balmer of Florida apparently didn't get past that first rule. Balmer was in line at Kmart, sporting a black T-shirt reading "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs," when in walked a sheriff's deputy. What Balmer reportedly did next defies logic. Lawyer Dad Arrested Over Teen's Epic 'Playboy' Party: A lawyer in San Diego County got in trouble with the law when police busted up a party at his house for his daughter's 18th birthday. Deputies say up to 200 teens were there, many of them drinking, some clad in scanty bunny costumes in keeping with the "Playboy Mansion" theme. Dad is attempting to clear his name by showing what it said on the invite. Naked Lady Gets Stuck Breaking Into Her Ex's House: Officials in Woodcrest, Calif., say that a 35-year-old woman, receiving no response to her very-early-morning knock on her estranged beau's door, decided to strip off her clothes and find her own way in. When Tony Hernandez, who is said to have three kids with the suspect, awoke for work, he heard her calling for help. Let's just say it took firefighters two hours to chisel her out from where she was trapped. What Not to Tell Cops in the Wee Hours of Jan. 1: Shortly after the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve, a police officer in Vineland, NJ, says he saw Daniel Pratts greet 2015 by speeding through a stop sign and almost slamming into the car in front of him. Pratts reportedly said he hadn't been drinking, but then he made an announcement at the police station that appeared to refute his previous assertion: "It's New Year's Eve, everyone drives drunk." He wasn't lucky regarding the person he almost hit, either. Click to read about more crazy crimes.